Europe. It's like a different country or something... II

Fresh from bringing you evidence of Flemish Belgium's love of crack on toast, behold the majesty of Portugal's equal love of crack.

To your new irresistible snack!

Not pictured: any maturity on my part, or an interesting blog post.

Five a day

Some health food, yesterday

According to the wrapper of my raisin and biscuit Yorkie, 13% of the contents are raisins. 13%! More than an eighth, nearly a seventh of a bar, in other words. Quite a lot, relatively speaking...which got me thinking.

13% of a 53g bar is 6.89g (i.e. 0.13 x 53 = 6.89)

According to the NHS [source], 30g of raisins or other dried fruit equates to one of your five a day.

Now, 30 ÷ 6.89 = 4.354136430

In other words, eat approximately 4⅓ raisin and biscuit Yorkies and you've had one of your five daily portions of fruit and veg.

Nearly 1200 calories, more than 130g of sugar and 33g of saturated fat as well, but hey, it's all about the balanced diet...

Who ever said maths wasn't fun?

Where Is My Mind?

For reasons that will become apparent, I am too tired to blog about yesterday properly. Instead, I will try to tell a tale using embedded content rather than words. Here goes.

Yesterday, I went here:

View Larger Map

to see these guys:

do this:

which looked and sounded a bit like this:

My ridiculously long train and coach journey home was full of people (and their parents) who looked like this:

and I got to bed at:

If you haven't bought Indie Cindy yet, you can get it here:

Clandestine Classic XXXVIII - Levitate Me

The thirty-eighth post in an occasional series that is intended to highlight songs that you might not have heard that I think are excellent - clandestine classics, if you will. Maybe they'll be by bands you've never heard of. Maybe they'll be by more familiar artists, but tracks that were squirelled away on b-sides, unpopular albums, radio sessions or music magazine cover-mounted CDs. Time will, undoubtedly, tell.

The question, though, is how to choose a clandestine classic by a band as successful, for so long and in so many places, as the Pixies. Knowing my blog's readership as I do, I'd say there's a fair chance you like the Pixies. There's a pretty good chance you own a copy of Doolittle. You might even have had a "Death to the Pixies" t-shirt back in the day. So how am I, with my little series of lesser-known greats, going to sneak a Pixies track by you? Well, chances are I'm not... but, in honour of the fact that I'm going to see the band live this weekend, I am going to try.

Let's go back before Doolittle, back even before first album proper Surfer Rosa, to the Pixies first release, the Come On Pilgrim EP. This in itself was just eight short tracks re-recorded from their demo, the Purple Tape, and weighed in at little more than 20 minutes. But even for a band so much in its infancy, the Pixies were pretty much fully formed. All the trademark sounds were there: Frank Black's vocal range and twisted lyrics, Kim Deal's rumbling bass and deceptively sweet harmonies, Joey Santiago's meandering guitar lines and David Lovering's dynamic percussion. Oh, let's not forget the whole quiet/loud/quiet thing that became a trademark of the band, and was much copied a big influence on many other bands, including such luminaries as Nirvana and Radiohead. In fact, so ready, so complete was the Pixies experience in those early days, even though only eight tracks from The Purple Tape made it onto Surfer Rosa, many others later resurfaced on other albums, even as late as Subbacultcha on Trompe Le Monde. But I digress - what of today's classic?

Well, Levitate Me is pretty much an early archetype. Quiet/loud/quiet? Check. Subterranean bass? Check. Vocal range? Check. Obtuse lyrics, with pop-culture references and possible ominous subtext? Check. It really is all there. Much has been written about the Eraserhead connection, but you don't need to be familiar with that film to enjoy this song, as I can attest. All I know is that the sound of Frank and his band have been embedded deep in my consciousness since my own Elevator Lady introduced me to Come On Pilgrim and Surfer Rosa a barely believable 24 years ago. I've been in her debt ever since, for this and so much more.

You can pick up Come On Pilgrim and Surfer Rosa together here - honestly, I can't think of many better ways to spend seven pounds of your money. For today's classic only there is, of course, YouTube. And if you're off to see the Pixies at this weekend's Field Day festival, who knows, we might walk right by each other...

Our number's up

If you haven't already seen it, I recommend reading Georges Monbiot's latest online article for The Guardian. Entitled "It's simple. If we can't change our economic system, our number's up", I can't pretend it's a cheery piece but just because it's full of sobering thoughts, doesn't mean you shouldn't read it.

In a single essay, Monbiot touches on so many themes of such import: climate change; biodiversity collapse; the depletion of water, soil, minerals, oil; fracking; deforestation; overpopulation... and then trumps them all with the inherent problems for us all in the relentless pursuit of economic growth. Of course, being powered by fossil fuels this drive for growth is both time- and resource-limited anyway.... but the damage is already done. Over the last 200 years, the West (and, increasingly, the developing world) has undergone a wholesale change from a needs-based to a wants-based economy. And with the global population set to hit 9bn by 2050, it seems inevitable that greater risks, greater conflict and greater ethical compromise will be required to meet ever increasing needs.

Maybe it's an age thing, maybe it's parenthood, but this sort of thing worries me more than at any time in my life. Take time out to read the Monbiot Guardian piece. Take a look at Population Matters. See if you can be inspired to make some changes by consuming mindfully.

And before anyone trots out the old "necessity is the mother of invention" response - mankind is clever and will prevail through technology and innovation - Monbiot makes this observation:

Some people try to solve the impossible equation with the myth of dematerialisation: the claim that as processes become more efficient and gadgets are miniaturised, we use, in aggregate, fewer materials. There is no sign that this is happening. Iron ore production has risen 180% in 10 years. The trade body Forest Industries tells us that "global paper consumption is at a record high level and it will continue to grow". If, in the digital age, we won't reduce even our consumption of paper, what hope is there for other commodities?

I don't mean to bug you, but in case you've looked at the Guardian piece, seen how long it is and thought "hmm, perhaps not", well, maybe I can persuade you. I'm not as eloquent as George but the bottom line is that average global consumption per capita is increasing, as is the global population: in other words, there's a double-whammy of increase in demand. And, with the exception of heat and light from the Sun, the Earth is effectively a closed system: in other words, there's a finite supply. Simple logic dictates that demand will exceed supply - it's not a question of if, but when. It's patently obvious, but seems a truth too harsh to face, and so it remains the elephant in the room. Here's Monbiot's conclusion for you anyway, in which even he is reducing to mild swearing:

Statements of the bleeding obvious, the outcomes of basic arithmetic, are treated as exotic and unpardonable distractions, while the impossible proposition by which we live is regarded as so sane and normal and unremarkable that it isn't worthy of mention. That's how you measure the depth of this problem: by our inability even to discuss it.

I'm guilty, of course. Guilty of being a consumer, just like you, and not always a mindful one either. I try though. And I'm trying to discuss this... maybe you will too.

I'll hush for a bit now. Thanks for reading.

Four things we have learnt from the Euro elections

No caption necessary

1. There are an awful lot of voters who would not describe themselves as racist but are perhaps concerned about "national identity". How else do you explain UKIP's record result?
2. Only 33.8% of those eligible to vote did so, suggesting more people are disenfranchised with democracy in general, and EU democracy in particular, than are concerned about Farage et al holding any kind of authority in their name...which is a criminal shame.
3. We are not alone. France is suffering too.
4. Even having an utter tool as your party's deputy chairman won't stop people voting for you.

Of course the most sobering lesson learnt is how much UKIP has changed since it formed in 1997, especially as those changes have corresponded with its move from being a curio to a political force.

Anyway... I've tagged this piece "Opinion", so here's mine - voters of Britain, get your arses in gear at next year's general election. By not voting, you allow buffoons into office by the back door. It's bad enough when they're just snout-first in the EU trough, refusing to vote and quaffing pints in carefully staged photo calls but when it's your representation at Westminster that's at stake....? Come on!

Mirror in the bathroom

We've just had a new bathroom put in and now, for the first time in our five years in this house, we have a mirrored cabinet above the sink. Not only that but for the first time in my life I have a mirrored cabinet with a hinged door above the sink.

Now if everything that Hollywood has taught me is correct, I suspect it is only a matter of time before I close the cabinet after cleaning my teeth one night to find a psychopath/murderous spouse/supernatural horror behind me. Or, more likely (because teeth-cleaning is less photogenic on-screen) I'll be going in there for some non-specific medication...

Or am I just being a putz?

In other news, one of my other blogs has been DMCA'ed - please read all about it.

Tonight, Matthew...

...I shall mostly be imagining it is the early 90s, as I go to see Ben Watt (EBTG) and Bernard Butler (proper Suede) at an intimate gig at the local arts centre.

This is the sort of thing they'll be playing.

Weller, Weller, Weller.... oh, tell me more, tell me more

Paul Weller has never been backwards in coming forwards when it comes to discussing his influences. Inevitably then, some fans (like me) are a bit sad and look for those influences when they hear something new by him.

In other words, Paul has a new single coming out soon to presage his latest greatest hits compilation, More Modern Classics. The track is called Brand New Toy and, to me, it sounds a bit like what would happen if Ray Davies and Steve Marriott were locked in a 2014 studio together. But do I just think that because I am very familiar with Davies's and Marriott's past works, and know of their influence on Weller? Or does it really sound like them?

Here it is - you decide.

What do you reckon?

Europe. It's like a different country or something

I guess at some point I ought to grow up.

Until then, however, I will take delight in comedy food packaging from around the world. Here are three examples from a recent trip to Flemish-speaking Belgium.

Half wit bread? Probably not brain food...

A biscuit called Plop. I find this funny, despite not being of pre-school age.

And my personal favourite...

...I prefer mine with Marmite.