50 years of song: 2010-2019

I am 50 (and, through careful planning, this is my 1,000th blog post). I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I've been counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What is #1 today, for 2020? I don't care really, the charts are irrelevant to me now. Anyway, here goes - part five:

2010. Please Don't Let Me Go - Olly Murs: I couldn't even hum you the chorus of this...
2011. Stay Awake - Example: ...or this
2012. Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love) - Ne-Yo: ...or this
2013. Roar - Katy Perry: ...I know this one though!
2014. Prayer in C - Lilly Wood & Robin Schulz: Sorry, back to not having a clue on this one...
2015. What Do You Mean - Justin Bieber: ...or this (2.1bn YouTube views or not)
2016. Closer - Chainsmokers featuring Halsey: ...or this
2017. Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift: ...but I know this one - well done me!
2018. Promises - Calvin Harris and Sam Smith: ...and this one, sort of
2019. Take Me Back To London - Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy: ...but I have no recollection of this. Two of the biggest stars of the decade and I had no clue about this song until now.

I shouldn't be too hard on myself, I guess. I'm 50, the singles chart should have very little to do with me, or me with it. Such is the way of the world. If I'm honest I don't really want to embed any of the tracks this week but, for the sake of completeness, I can include this on the basis that I grudgingly have a bit of a soft spot for Taylor Swift, I suppose.

If I live to 100 and blogs are still a thing (both unlikely), I'll do this again...

Source: officialcharts.com

50 years of song: 2000-2009

I will be 50 soon. I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I'm going to be counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What will be #1 on my 50th? I don't care really - chances are I'll loathe it anyway. Anyway, here goes - part four:

2000. Take On Me - A1: awful (and a bad cover version)
2001. Mambo No.5 - Bob the Builder: awful (and a bad cover version)
2002. The Tide is High (Get the Feeling) - Atomic Kitten: awful (and a bad cover version)
2003. Where is the Love? - Black Eyed Peas: not a cover version, at least
2004. My Place/Flap Your Wings - Nelly: I have no recollection of this
2005. Dare - Gorillaz: not Dirty Harry, but not bad
2006. Sexyback - Justin Timberlake: I feel dirty saying it, but I don't mind this
2007. Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston: no, me neither
2008. I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry: God, this was twelve years ago? Cherry Chapstick indeed...
2009. Run This Town - Jay-Z featuring Rihanna and Kanye West: I have no recollection of this either

I think I stopped listening to the charts around the turn of the millennium and, on this evidence, that was a good call. Here's the only track I would want to listen to again out of that sorry lot. Hobson's Choice. Tune in next week for ten even worse tunes.

Source: officialcharts.com

50 years of song: 1990-1999

I will be 50 soon. I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I'm going to be counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What will be #1 on my 50th? I don't care really - chances are I'll loathe it anyway. Anyway, here goes - part three:

1990. The Joker - The Steve Miller Band: amazing what a jeans ad could do for a song, back then
1991. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams: well, it was #1 for most of the year, wasn't it?
1992. Rhythm is a Dancer - Snap!: at least this kept that awful cover of Baker Street off the top
1993. Mr Vain - Culture Beat: utter shite. Wasn't this a peak Britpop year?
1994. Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet: begat a slew of bad karaoke Pellow impressions
1995. You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson: God, I don't remember the 90s being this bad
1996. Flava - Peter Andre: I'm sorry, I can't help the day I was born on
1997. The Drugs Don't Work - The Verve: funny how movements in popular culture filter down to the charts as they are ending, isn't it?
1998. Bootie Call - All Saints: all vest-tops and camo trousers, more like
1999. Mambo No.5 (A Little Bit Of) - Lou Bega: appropriate way to end a terrible selection of songs

Wait, what? No Blur? No Oasis? No Suede? No Pulp? What a sorry selection from the decade of Britpop! There's only one choice for this week's embed, isn't there? And I really feel this is only going to get worse over the next two weeks...

Source: officialcharts.com

50 years of song: 1980-1989

I will be 50 soon. I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I'm going to be counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What will be #1 on my 50th? I don't care really - chances are I'll loathe it anyway. Anyway, here goes - part two:

1980. Feels Like I'm In Love - Kelly Marie: complete with pew-pew percussion
1981. Tainted Love - Soft Cell: love this... but not as much as Say Hello, Wave Goodbye
1982. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor: I pity the fool who doesn't think this is the best thing about Rocky III
1983. Red Red Wine - UB40: ubiquitous ever since. Not a patch on the original, of course...
1984. I Just Called To Say I Love You - Stevie Wonder: I know he's a genius but, controversy alert, this is pap, isn't it?
1985. Dancing in the Street - David Bowie and Mick Jagger: noble, but this begat the worst video in history
1986. Don't Leave Me This Way - The Communards: oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, baby!
1987. Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley: Christ, this series has been Rick-rolled
1988. Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Collins: almost as great a crime as the train robbery (see what I did there?)
1989. Ride on Time - Black Box: colossal. I didn't like it

Amazing how unrepresentative this is of my 80s. Where's The Jam and The Style Council? The Smiths? The Wedding Present? Billy Bragg? It's almost like me and the charts don't correlate ... something to be proud of, eh? Here's the best track of that sorry lot, just pipping The Communards to the right to be embedded. Enjoy. Part three next week.

Source: officialcharts.com

50 years of song: 1970-1979

I will be 50 soon. I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I'm going to be counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What will be #1 on my 50th? I don't care really - chances are I'll loathe it anyway. Anyway, here goes - part one:

1970. Tears of a Clown - Smokey Robinson and the Miracles: sets the tone perfectly for the next 50 years
1971. I'm Still Waiting - Diana Ross: presumably waiting for the BeeGees to do Chain Reaction with her
1972. Mama Weer All Crazee Now - Slade: this is more like it!
1973. Young Love - Donny Osmond: my sister liked him
1974. Love Me For A Reason - The Osmonds: yes, that one
1975. Sailing - Rod Stewart: I remember this being huge
1976. Dancing Queen - Abba: 433 million YouTube views and counting...
1977. Way Down - Elvis Presley: riding up the charts on a wave of grief
1978. Three Times A Lady - The Commodores: the sight of Lionel going solo hoves into view
1979. We Don't Talk Any More - Cliff Richard: my sister's favourite

Christ, what a dire selection. Osmonds, solo Stewart, dead Presley, Commodores, Cliff... ladies and gentlemen, I give you the decade of punk! Fingers crossed the 80s offer up a better selection... and whilst Slade very nearly got the nod, there's only one song to end with, surely?

Source: officialcharts.com