Happiness remains elusive

Disclaimer: this post was written in December 2023, and scheduled for future posting. Its contents may no longer be accurate or appropriate.

Way back in 2013, when I was clearly short of things to blog about, I wrote twice (here and here) about Alex Quick's book 102 Free Things To Do - inspiring ideas for a better life and how I intended to try the suggestions therein to see if life did indeed get better. At the last update, in December 2017, I identified 43 that I had done (green), three that I would never do (red)...and the other 56 were up for grabs. Anyway, here's an update, as at December 2023 - newly done are bold (with explanatory notes in italics):

Go out and look at the stars Keep a diary - but only one sentence a day Meter your energy use with a smart meter (but I quickly got bored of doing so) Give up your car Get up earlier Sketch your relatives - it's better than photos Treasure your precious human body Go on an archeological dig Write a letter to your future self Don't confuse affluence with well-being Memorise a poem Ask a child for advice Take part in a police line-up Give up craving for recognition (and be admired for it) Notice when things have improved Go on holiday without leaving your bedroom Practice random acts of kindness (and, if time permits, senseless acts of beauty) Climb a mountain Turn your house into a restaurant Start a film society Remember that making mistakes is part of being human See the sun rise and set on a single summer's day Get fit without joining a gym (I got in great shape for LEJOG in 2021 ... but am currently back in awful shape) Sit still until you see wildlife emerge Contact a friend you haven't spoken to for years Go cloud-spotting Learn to meditate Volunteer for something Spend a day and night in a forest Cherish older people Reconsider your career Enlarge your comfort zone Achieve your ideal weight (as above, this was when training for LEJOG ... am overweight again now) Learn how to talk to strangers in public Visit Project Gutenberg Gather a meal from the wild Learn another language (if Japanese on Duolingo counts) Invent a language Pretend you are a valet for humanity Go busking Start a book in which to record things that have really, really made you laugh Go somewhere outdoors that is very silent Make Christmas presents for your whole family one year Give something up Cheer up lonely men in public places Swap your CDs Adopt or invent a personal motto Support your local eccentric Become a freegan Swim in the sea Get to know your neighbours

Act without expecting anything back Deliver meals on wheels (sort of, and a one-off) Look for glue Send a message in a bottle Have an eco-friendly bonfire Attempt a world record Walk in the rain Give away free trees Do a sponsored parachute/bungee jump (I used to think this was still on the cards, but now accept my stomach for such lunacy has gone) Perform Cycle 100 miles in a day Serenade someone Reflect on something you're grateful for Cook and eat a nine-course meal Write a love letter Create a lair Notice beauty Let go of emotional pain Write down your parents' or grandparents' stories Look at your day-to-day concerns from the point of view of five years from now Fan the flames of desire Contemplate imperfection and impermanence as forms of beauty (after a conversation with a writer friend) Join a gardening scheme where only your labour is required Laugh in the face of death Train your memory Accept the full catastrophe Write the first sentence of a novel Cherish solitude (Sister Wendy does) (realised I always have) Get your friends to sponsor you to go to Spain and celebrate La Tomatina Embarrass your children/teenagers (sadly and more frequently) Work a room Confront people politely Learn a trick Be a representative of your country, in your country Try lucid dreaming Come to terms with ageing Be a bookcrosser Teach a child something fun Make your gratitude less perfunctory Give away your superfluous possessions Grow huge sunflowers Smile Go bell-ringing Form a debating club Take your shoes off and walk in the dew on a sunny morning Dress up Give up your TV Be 'Lord' for a day Write fewer emails and more letters Don't expect that things will be different in Tenerife Find out what's happening near you and join in

So, now 51 done, halfway there... but also back up to four nevers. So am I happier?

No, of course not. I'm still the same cantankerous, miserable old sod I've always been. Important to remember, though, that not being happier isn't the same as being sadder, or even sad. Though of course I am that too, at times. Who knows, by the time this post goes live in May, perhaps I'll have ticked off a few more on the list and reached nirvana ... but don't hold your breath.

Meanwhile ... are you happy? What makes that so? Maybe I'll build your answers into my own, real-world "how to be happier" list some time. Until then, here's the obvious brilliant song from the much-missed Mark Hollis and Talk Talk:

Blue Friday: I Know The End

Disclaimer: this post was written in December 2023, and scheduled for future posting. Its contents may no longer be accurate or appropriate.

I know very little about Phoebe Bridgers, because I am an out-of-touch old man, but by Christ, this is something.

Leonard Cohen Afterworld

Disclaimer: this post was written in December 2023, and scheduled for future posting. Its contents may no longer be accurate or appropriate.

It's thirty years to the day since Kurt Cobain took his own life. So yes, more time has passed since his death than he was alive for. A terrible shame, and a terrible waste, like any suicide.

I sometimes have a little inward smile when I see kids, tweens or younger, wearing their Nirvana t-shirts. This would have been like pre-teen me wearing a Perry Como t-shirt - not impossible, but not likely either. Still, times change, I suppose, and a crossed-eye smiley face is a logo, and logos are cool, right? They really say something about that kid who's never heard a Nirvana song, except maybe that contagious one, right? Right?

God, I sound like a right curmudgeonly old sod. (What do you mean, 'sound like'? - Ed.)

Anyway, here's a favourite Nirvana song of mine, from the fabled MTV Unplugged session. Maybe I like this because I too have very bad posture, who knows? Note how impossibly young, fresh-faced and clean-shaven Dave Grohl looks in this clip.

As an aside, help is out there for anyone who gets to feeling like Kurt did in the end, not least from Samaritans.

Left and right

Disclaimer: this post was written in December 2023, and scheduled for future posting. Its contents may no longer be accurate or appropriate.

It's difficult to know for sure, when this post has been scheduled so far in advance, but there will probably be elections today, for various things in various parts of the country. Council elections, probably, mayoral and PCC elections too. Who knows, there might even be a general election with a bit of luck, though I doubt it (I don't think Sunak will be in any rush for that [assuming he's still PM by the time this post goes live which, given the last couple of years, is far from certain]).

Anyway, if you have a chance to vote today, please do. And we're all of a mind here, aren't we? You know what to do, but in case you need something to help you remember, here's a little ditty from Gavin Osborn at his Braggiest. I've posted it before, a long time ago, but it bears repeating.

Never been to Russia, it's only girls I've overthrown
Never met a communist in my living room at home
And I've never read Das Kapital deep into the night
But I'll always know my left side from my right
And I've never trashed McDonalds but their burgers make me sick
Even when I want to, well, I can never find a brick
I just sit here writing songs when I should get on out and fight
But I'll always know my left side from my right
These days, it always seems the same to me
Cultural stability can't be solved by my TV
But I know I can play my part by loving you, yeah that's a start

I was only two years old when Thatcher came to power
Just old enough to eat on my own and tell my sweet from sour
But now I think I'm old enough to sit and sing this song
Cause I'll always know my right side from my wrong
And I've never held a banner for the men on the miner's strike
Cause in the nightmare of the eighties I just rode my mountain bike
But if you trace back those tyre tracks you'll find me to be true
Cause I'll always know my red side from my blue
These days, it always seems the same to me
Cultural stability can't be solved by my TV
But I know I can play my part by just loving you, yeah that's a start

Never set up a trade union but I've been to the union bar
Listen to all those students discussing life after the Tsar
You know it's better to try and lose than to not try and still fail
But there's always one that buys the Daily M**l
So I've never been to Russia, it's only girls I've overthrown
Never met a communist in my living room at home
And I've never read Das Kapital deep into the night
But I'll always know my left side from my right
I'll always know my left side from my right

I know politics isn't as cut and dried as Gavin's song would have us believe. And I'm the first to acknowledge that the alternatives to the Conservatives aren't perfect either. But without doubt fourteen years of Tory rule has been ruinous for the nation, its people, its public services and its very way of life. It's well past time for a change.