A mobile history

Because I know you're all very concerned about my mobile phone history, I have a Sony Ericsson Ray these days...

If nothing else, when I ran this sort of to-scale chronology once before it proved very popular...

Clandestine Classic XXVI - Where Is My Mind? (cover)

The 26th post in an occasional series that is intended to highlight songs that you might not have heard that I think are excellent - clandestine classics, if you will. Maybe they'll be by bands you've never heard of. Maybe they'll be by more familiar artists, but tracks that were squirelled away on b-sides, unpopular albums, radio sessions or music magazine cover-mounted CDs. Time will, undoubtedly, tell.

I bloody love the Pixies. If you don't too, you should. Maybe you saw the title of this post and thought they were getting a run out here. Well, no, sorry to disappoint, for today's clandestine classic is a cover version. The original comes from what is probably my favourite Pixies album, 1988's Surfer Rosa, but the cover featured here today is a much more recent affair. Does this mean I'm getting down with the kids?

Well, not really, unless bluegrass is trending on Twitter or being pimped by Cowell et al. But I digress - let's stick to the facts. Last October, Minnesota acoustic 5-piece Trampled By Turtles (about whom I know nothing) released a bluegrass (about which I know next to nothing) cover of Where is My Mind for the WhyHunger charity. Then they released a crowd-sourced video of the song, recruiting fans via Facebook. They asked fans to submit photos of themselves creatively holding a sign with one word from the song on it - these were stitched together in a montage, interspersed with live concert footage from a show in Louisville.

The good thing about this is I don't have to know anything about Trampled By Turtles or bluegrass - all I know is that their version of this song ticks all the "what makes a good cover" boxes. It doesn't just try to forensically ape the original. It brings something new to the party. And it can be enjoyed without making you hanker after the original. Having said all that, I think the real trick to the success of this track, apart from the slightly sinister (to this listener, at least) air bestowed by the slow banjo plucking, is the substitution of a mournful violin where once Kim Deal's backing vocals were. It works. It really works.

I'm not going to link to a dodgy download today, because any legit download still contributes to the charity, so here's the track on iTunes. Go and buy it. Then sit back and enjoy this video which, as I've already said, is really pretty good.

A good big'un will usually beat a good littl'un

I went to see a Premier League match at the weekend: Norwich City v Liverpool. In other words, my adopted home town against the team I supported as a boy. So I had conflicting feelings, I'll be honest, because although Norwich is the team I go and see, the team I literally support, I still watch the Reds' results with a very close eye.

Much has been made of how well the Canaries have done this season, not only to survive but to do so in some style. Only Man City have really spanked us (twice). We drew against Liverpool at Anfield, were unlucky against Man Utd at Old Trafford and beat Spurs at White Hart Lane. But Liverpool gave us a lesson on Saturday. We never looked like scoring and, to be honest, they could have had more than three.

But anyway, I'll keep this brief - I don't want to alienate those with no interest in footy. So in Powerpoint-style, here are my bullet-pointed observations from the game:

• Luis Suarez is a world-class player. A bit of a dick too - he falls over too easily and constantly jibes at players off the ball when the ref's not watching - but you can't argue with his skill. Shame he can't get the genius/pillock balance right.
• Steven Gerrard is awesome. He ran the entire game. I don't know if he will go on as long as the likes of Giggs and Scholes, but I hope he does, for Liverpool's and England's sake.
• Elliott Ward had a 'mare - Suarez had his number from the word go. If we hadn't lost our left-back early doors, I think he would have been subbed off. I was embarrassed for him, and wouldn't be surprised if his contract wasn't renewed in the summer.
• Steve Morison polarises fans, and I can see why. He just doesn't seem to work very hard, especially when compared to Grant Holt who was eventually brought on to replace him. But then I charge around like a headless chicken at 5-a-side and it doesn't make me a better player, so maybe the large proportion of the Carrow Road crowd that were on Morison's back just because he doesn't seem to put in the effort are wrong. Then again...
• It was great to see my childhood hero, King Kenny, even if he was only standing on the touchline. The 3,500 or so travelling fans chanted his name and he acknowledged them with a wave every time. The guy can do no wrong in my eyes.
• Suarez's third goal has been compared to Beckham's half-way line goal but was way better. Beckham was barely moving when he hit his - Suarez was belting along, and being chased by a defender. I don't think I have seen too many better goals, and certainly not at games I've actually been at. Here it is.

Clandestine Classic XXV - The Day Before You Came

The 25th post in an occasional series that is intended to highlight songs that you might not have heard that I think are excellent - clandestine classics, if you will. Maybe they'll be by bands you've never heard of. Maybe they'll be by more familiar artists, but tracks that were squirelled away on b-sides, unpopular albums, radio sessions or music magazine cover-mounted CDs. Time will, undoubtedly, tell.

This is going to be a difficult post, and one in which I risk my hard-earned indie credentials. Because yes, today's Clandestine Classic is a 1982 single from Abba. Yep, you read that right, the Swedish behemoth that bestrode the world in the Seventies and early Eighties like an eight-legged Scandinavian Colossus. But what do you think of when you think of Abba? Waterloo/Eurovision? Maybe. Dancing Queen? Perhaps. Mamma sodding Mia? That's understandable, given its reinvention as a musical and film. But what about the songs? The proper songs...

Though I probably should be, I'm not ashamed to admit to liking Abba. If you take a look at my gigography on Songkick, you'll see they were my first gig, nine years old and wide-eyed at Wembley Arena. I still have the tour programme somewhere. And the lyrics are still ingrained from hours and hours of pre-teen headphone listening and singing along. Okay, so those lyrics were often a bit twee but have you tried writing a song in Swedish? Fair play to Benny and (mainly) Björn, I say.

But forget the songs I've mentioned above, and the others that spring to mind, like the Partridge-endorsed Knowing Me, Knowing You (did you just do an internal "Ah-ha!" - I did), the dum-diddy-dum of Take A Chance On Me, the oft-parodied Super Trouper, forget 'em! They were all way too successful and familiar to be Clandestine Classics. Besides, most of their best songs, in my view, came late in their career, as singles chart success began to tail off. It's one of those I've picked today.

You could argue that the darker tone of their last studio album, 1981's The Visitors, was down to the disintegration of the two marriages within the band. Agnetha and Björn were already divorced, Benny and Frida were heading that way. Yet still all recording and performing together. It must have been a tense time, especially when Björn went off and married an Agnetha-clone. The template for minor-key heartbreak and misery, Abba-style, was already set with The Winner Takes It All but that was number 1 in half of Europe and even made it to number 8 in the States, helped in no small measure by its lump-in-the-throat video. So, far too successful to be Clandestine. But their pre-penultimate single release, The Day Before You Came, only limped to number 32 in the UK - a failure by Abba's standards.

I'll be honest, I almost chose Blancmange's cover of this song today. It's very good, definitely worth five minutes of your time, and would have preserved my indie credentials perhaps. But I'm sorry, great though it is (especially the extended 12" mix), synthesizers are no match for the layered backing vocals in the original. I'm not going to say anything else about Abba, or what they did next - there's nothing I can add to what's already out there. But I will ask you to listen, without prejudice or snobbery, to a truly excellent song. Of its time, yes, but excellent nonetheless. If there's a better song about being ruined by meeting the wrong person (or the right person at the wrong time, perhaps?) I can't think when I've heard it. You can get The Day Before You Came on The Visitors or compilation More Abba Gold. Or here. Or YouTube, of course. Here you go.

Robert De Niro's waiting... for one more good role

So there I am, last night, sat in front of the TV lamenting the fact that Easter doesn't equate to a slew of good programmes to watch in the same way that Christmas does. Or did. Channel-surfing, I found that Heat was on Film 4, halfway through. And I got to thinking. Robert De Niro has made many amazing films, and some of my all-time favourites: Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The Deer Hunter, Goodfellas and Cape Fear. Especially Cape Fear. But I started to wonder - has he made a truly great film since Cape Fear in 1991? I'm not sure that he has. A quick look at his filmography on IMDB suggests maybe not. Some would argue the case for Heat and also Casino. Maybe Frankenstein. But I'm not convinced. Good, yes, but great? Others would say he's good in Meet The Parents and I wouldn't disagree - it's a fine comedy. But good and fine are not great.

Here's a clip from Cape Fear showing a masterclass in understated menace from De Niro, back when he still demanded meaty roles that he could really get his teeth into. These days? De Niro by numbers, sadly. What a waste.

So what do you think? Am I right? Wrong? Have I missed a stellar performance from De Niro in the 20 years since Cape Fear that scales the heights he climbed in the 20 years preceding it? Let me know...

Tescoverload

I've written before about supermarkets and their all-pervasive power. The high-street smothering might of Tesco et al is, in case you were wondering, a bad thing.

Take a look at my adopted home town.

In an area of about seven miles square there are fifteen Tesco outlets. Fifteen! And that's not counting the One Stop shops which are, I believe, owned by Tesco too. There are nine of those in the same area, and a further three just outside.

Fifteen stores and nine affiliates in this tiny area. Too much, isn't it?

On the plus side, I was heartened to read that the residents of Herne, in my old stamping ground, seem to have fought off the Evil Empire. Be careful though, campaigners - as Sheringham proves, Tesco rarely gives up.

If the dominance of one retailer worries you, take a look at Tescopoly. You might think there's very little you can do, but every little helps, right?

Stamps and Stuff

Following the relaxation of price controls, it seems the price of stamps is set to rocket/rise (delete as applicable to your preferred newspaper's choice of headline). Not good news for the put-upon consumer, though dare I suggest sending a missive to the other end of the country by tomorrow morning for 60p is still unfeasibly good value. And if you disagree, well, sorry to come over a bit Peel, but I'm right and you're wrong.

Anyway... what better excuse could I have for trotting out this nugget from Alexei Sayle's Stuff featuring, as it does, not only a critique of the postal system but a fine parody of W.H. Auden's Night Mail too.

And why does Alexei Sayle's Stuff never get a re-run? Well, it could be a bit hit and miss, and often the funniest thing on it was the title sequence. All together now, "Who's an ugly bastard and as fat as he can be? A-L-E-X-E-I-S-A-Y-L-E..."

Clandestine Classic XXIV - Louie

The 24th post in an occasional series that is intended to highlight songs that you might not have heard that I think are excellent - clandestine classics, if you will. Maybe they'll be by bands you've never heard of. Maybe they'll be by more familiar artists, but tracks that were squirelled away on b-sides, unpopular albums, radio sessions or music magazine cover-mounted CDs. Time will, undoubtedly, tell.

I first came across Ida Maria back in November 2007 (life was very different then). I'd been to see The Good Shoes, and she was one of the support acts. For my money, she blew everyone else off the stage, including the headline act. I was so enthused, I wrote about the singer and her band on this blog the very next day.

So what can I tell you about Ida Maria? Well, she's Norwegian and, as I suggested back in that original blog post, reminds me a bit of early (Sugarcubes-era) Björk or Bellatrix. Today's classic, Louie, comes from her debut album, Fortress Round My Heart and is entirely typical of the other tracks thereon - it's a bit lively, a bit spiky, a bit kooky, a bit Björky. And her band are tight - they know their leader's schtick, and they keep to it, but they can rock'n'roll like good ol' Norse boys too. The result is a track (and an album) that makes you want to bounce about a bit in your car seat as you barrel along listening to it - this is almost always a good sign.

A year or two after the debut, Ida Maria re-released Fortress on a different label, with different sleeve art and a different running order. Maybe there were issues with Sony, who knows? Then, in 2010, a whole new album, Katla, was released on Universal. I haven't got that, though I note it costs a lot and seems to have a vague concept based on an Icelandic volcano. I'm not going to comment on that. But what I will say is that today's clandestine classic is an up-tempo, feelgood, jump-about song for those that like a quirky North European delivery to their vocals, with a hint of Björkish pixie to the singer. I appreciate that this might be quite a narrow target market... but, in an age of Rhiannas, Ga-Gas, Béyonces and worse, I like this. Maybe you will too. Let me know.

Home-tapers (it's killing music, remember that?) might like this. For the rest, there's YouTube: since there's no official video for this album track, I've found a truly bizarre SIMs-based effort soundtracked by today's classic. Having seen the band live, I don't think these visuals are what Ida Maria would have in mind but hey, if nothing else it proves that life's rich tapestry has some odd weavers.

Not Film 2012... but a film review anyway: Martha Marcy May Marlene

I went to the cinema last week and, because of the lateness of my arrival, had a limited choice: Carnage or Martha Marcy May Marlene (or 4M, as I shall henceforth refer to it. Judging by Rol's review I probably would have enjoyed the former very much. However, I went for the latter... and am very glad I did, to the extent that although it is only February I might have already seen my film of the year.

4M starts innocently enough - a young girl seems to be living a simple life in some sort of quasi-Amish agrarian commune in the Catskill's that might seem a bit odd to the casual observer but not really much more odd than, for example, the actual Amish might to the average 21st Century Westerner. But then our protagonist, who we come to think of as Martha, Marcy May or Marlene depending on the context, makes a break. She literally escapes the commune. What's going on?

Martha, an entirely convincing and scarily good Elizabeth Olsen (pictured), is quickly rescued by her estranged sister and from there two stories are told in parallel: Martha's struggle to adapt to conventional life and, in flashback, her time in the commune as Marcy May (and, on the phone, Marlene). And it's those flashbacks that make this film so effective, the way the story is delicately paid out. As you might expect, bad things happened in the commune. Very bad things indeed. I won't spoil the film for you here with any more detail than that, but what I will say is this. I like an FX-laden adventure fest as much as the next man. But I also love films that deliver a story at a slower pace, letting the viewer interpret without jump-cuts and excessive dialogue being imposed. 4M is just one such film - it tells a difficult story in its own way, at its own pace, and is all the better for it. Oh, and Elizabeth Olsen is nothing short of a revelation, giving a powerhouse performance - no mean feat, especially considering that she is on-screen for just about the whole time.

And the ending caught pretty much the whole of Screen 3 at my local picture house on the hop, including me, which can only be a good thing.

Here's the trailer - now go and see the damned film (you don't get that from Claudia Winkleman, do you?). Oh, and you'll be able to buy it on Amazon before you know it too.

Clandestine Classic XXIII - Far Away

The 23rd post in an occasional series that is intended to highlight songs that you might not have heard that I think are excellent - clandestine classics, if you will. Maybe they'll be by bands you've never heard of. Maybe they'll be by more familiar artists, but tracks that were squirelled away on b-sides, unpopular albums, radio sessions or music magazine cover-mounted CDs. Time will, undoubtedly, tell.

I'll be honest, I don't know too much about the band that provide today's classic. I only have this one track by them, and I only have that because it was on the cover-mounted CD that came with March 2006's Uncut magazine. In other words, sorry - if you came here hoping to read chapter and verse on Clearlake, you're in the wrong place. All I can tell you is what I've read on their website and Wikipedia page.

Seems that Clearlake are a four-piece that formed in Brighton in 1999, comprising Jason Pegg (vocals, guitar, keyboards), David 'Woody' Woodward (bass, guitar, vocals, unimaginative nicknames), Toby May (drums) and Jim Briffett (guitar, vocals). Spot the three vocal credits? You might expect some harmonies then (and you won't be disappointed, at least with today's track). Clearlake had some early critical acclaim, but less commercial success, as so often seems to be the case. What, I wonder, is the elusive "X" factor required to transform the former into the latter? Whatever it is, it isn't pedalled by Cowell et al, but I digress. Back to Clearlake. I like to think they named themselves after the town in Iowa where Buddy Holly played his last gig and where his plane crashed on take-off, but I have no way of knowing if that's true - I just like to think it is. And they released three albums - the third, in January 2006, was called Amber and included today's classic, Far Away.

The thing is, I listen to this song, and love it, but because I don't know anything else by Clearlake, I hear other bands, other songs, other sounds. I hear influences. And I hear snippets of my music collection littered throughout the track. That's probably why I like it so much, and think is worthy of clandestine classic status. Example? I hear the drum line from Pounding by Doves. I imagine a bit of Teenage Fanclub in the vocals. I even get a bit of early Charlatans in the harmonies. I can find bits of The Real People in the guitar motifs (remember them? They might feature here one day). A little bit of Electric Soft Parade too, maybe? Whatever. I hear all these things, but have no way of knowing whether they are representative of the general Clearlake sound. All I know is that they make this track sound good.

Looking at the band's website, it seems they've been very quiet of late - in fact, the only remotely recent activity seems to be solo gigging for frontman Jason. Perhaps Clearlake have called it a day. Would this be a shame? Again, I don't know. What I do know is that you may find this link of interest (which naturally has nothing to do with me). Alternatively, you can at least enjoy today's classic courtesy of YouTube - here it is. What do you reckon?