Friday, 18 September 2020

Carousel

Such Small HandsCarousel, the debut album from Such Small Hands, is released today ... and it's wonderful.

Such Small Hands is, as I may have mentioned here before, Melanie Howard, bassist with The Wedding Present. But don't expect her album to sound anything like her Gedge-based day-job. For Carousel is a collection of delicate melancholia, all minor-keys and gentle arrangements. Mel describes her sound thus: "Taking in influences including Bjork, Portishead, Chelsea Wolfe, Sharon Van Etten, Anna Calvi and Joni Mitchell, Such Small Hands blends dark pop with twinges of quirky folk and electronica" ... to that list, I would add that there's something about Mel's beautiful, slightly breath-y, layered vocals that reminds me of 90s 4AD darlings Lush - this is a good thing.

It's also quite filmic and is easy to imagine many (most?) of these tracks in soundtrack use. I also cannot wait to take these songs out on a lone, late-night drive: just clear, starry skies, empty roads and Carousel on repeat play. A potentially perfect combo.

Here's a track that's fairly representative of the album as a whole - track 3, Drifter:

Carousel by Such Small Hands

I know there are three months to go, but I'm calling this as my album of the year already - it's an incredible, delicate, beautiful thing, and listening to it feels like holding a ebon butterfly in cupped hands.

How about you, like what you've heard? Then hurry along to Mel's Such Small Hands Bandcamp page where a whole host of delights awaits. You can thank me later.

Wednesday, 16 September 2020

About essential albums

We've all done it at some point - by we I mean bloggers - and the music press and broadsheet reviews sections do it even more; by it I mean describe an album as "essential": an essential listen, an essential purchase, or maybe, for variety, a must-have. But the collective we is very bold, arrogant even, in so-doing. For one reviewer's essential is another listener's disposable...

Take the new Paul Weller album, On Sunset. It's very good (except for the faintly ridiculous Ploughman but Craig has covered that already at Plain or Pan) and I've enjoyed listening to it, multiple times. But it's hardly essential. So I got to wondering, what was the last album of Weller's that I considered an absolute must-have? This might be a controversial opinion, and I say this as a massive fan of the Modfather's entire career and as someone who's seen him live more times than I care to remember... but I think the last essential Weller album was probably Stanley Road.

Yes, yes, I know, what about Heavy Soul? Sonik Kicks? A Kind Revolution? All great, in different ways, and there are many other albums in the 25 years since Stanley that deserve a listen (because yes, I bought them all). But essential? Records that I could honestly lay down on the table between us and say "You must listen to this!" about? No. I don't think so. Brilliant though he is, no.

I'm not opening this up for debate, or hoping that someone will make the case for this or any other album, because essential status is necessarily subjective - your list will be different to mine. I have a friend whose musical taste aligns so closely to mine that it renders a Venn diagram redundant, and he would probably argue that the last essential Weller album was Snap! but that's another matter.

The thing is, I think the definition of essential needs to be time-sensitive, in that the records we find essential are those that were important to us at a time in our lives when music was essential, before life/work/settling down/mortgages and the rest pushed it down the priority list. So Stanley Road came out in June 1995, when I was 24 - every release since then has had more to compete with in my head.

I did a blog series a while back called Every Home Should Have One, which might be construed as a list of essential albums. Tellingly, only nine of the 68 titles listed were from the 21st Century... or maybe I'm just parochial?

Anyway, here's a couple of live Weller performances: the first is Whirlpool's End, as performed on Later, promoting Stanley Road; the second is a lockdown session version of Village, promoting On Sunset.

I will always love Weller, that doesn't change. And maybe, just maybe, I don't consider anything essential any more.

Friday, 11 September 2020

When is a riddle not a riddle?

When it's a joke...

The conversation went something like this:

HUMAN: Alexa, tell me a riddle please.
ALEXA:  What has four legs but only one foot? (Pause) A bed.
HUMAN: Alexa, please tell me another riddle.
ALEXA:  How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Now this is a joke, isn't it? And when I was a kid, the answer to this, the punchline, was Fish. But times have moved on, clearly, because...

ALEXA:  Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill a bath-tub with brightly coloured power tools.

Which is pretty funny, actually. But it's not a riddle, Alexa. Keep working on those algorithms, Jeff et al.

Thursday, 10 September 2020

Only she could convince James Bond to tie the knot...

Just going to leave this compilation of Parky interviews with Diana Rigg here, along with an iconic Avengers image that I had on a t-shirt in my youth.

Wit, opinion, personality ... Emma Peel for real. Diana Rigg, RIP.

Wednesday, 9 September 2020

50 years of song: 2010-2019

I am 50 (and, through careful planning, this is my 1,000th blog post). I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I've been counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What is #1 today, for 2020? I don't care really, the charts are irrelevant to me now. Anyway, here goes - part five:

  1. Please Don't Let Me Go - Olly Murs: I couldn't even hum you the chorus of this...
  2. Stay Awake - Example: ...or this
  3. Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love) - Ne-Yo: ...or this
  4. Roar - Katy Perry: ...I know this one though!
  5. Prayer in C - Lilly Wood & Robin Schulz: Sorry, back to not having a clue on this one...
  6. What Do You Mean - Justin Bieber: ...or this (2.1bn YouTube views or not)
  7. Closer - Chainsmokers featuring Halsey: ...or this
  8. Look What You Made Me Do - Taylor Swift: ...but I know this one - well done me!
  9. Promises - Calvin Harris and Sam Smith: ...and this one, sort of
  10. Take Me Back To London - Ed Sheeran featuring Stormzy: ...but I have no recollection of this. Two of the biggest stars of the decade and I had no clue about this song until now.

I shouldn't be too hard on myself, I guess. I'm 50, the singles chart should have very little to do with me, or me with it. Such is the way of the world. If I'm honest I don't really want to embed any of the tracks this week but, for the sake of completeness, I can include this on the basis that I grudgingly have a bit of a soft spot for Taylor Swift, I suppose.

If I live to 100 and blogs are still a thing (both unlikely), I'll do this again...

Source: officialcharts.com

Wednesday, 2 September 2020

50 years of song: 2000-2009

I will be 50 soon. I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I'm going to be counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What will be #1 on my 50th? I don't care really - chances are I'll loathe it anyway. Anyway, here goes - part four:

  1. Take On Me - A1: awful (and a bad cover version)
  2. Mambo No.5 - Bob the Builder: awful (and a bad cover version)
  3. The Tide is High (Get the Feeling) - Atomic Kitten: awful (and a bad cover version)
  4. Where is the Love? - Black Eyed Peas: not a cover version, at least
  5. My Place/Flap Your Wings - Nelly: I have no recollection of this
  6. Dare - Gorillaz: not Dirty Harry, but not bad
  7. Sexyback - Justin Timberlake: I feel dirty saying it, but I don't mind this
  8. Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston: no, me neither
  9. I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry: God, this was twelve years ago? Cherry Chapstick indeed...
  10. Run This Town - Jay-Z featuring Rihanna and Kanye West: I have no recollection of this either

I think I stopped listening to the charts around the turn of the millennium and, on this evidence, that was a good call. Here's the only track I would want to listen to again out of that sorry lot. Hobson's Choice. Tune in next week for ten even worse tunes.

Source: officialcharts.com

Wednesday, 26 August 2020

50 years of song: 1990-1999

I will be 50 soon. I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I'm going to be counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What will be #1 on my 50th? I don't care really - chances are I'll loathe it anyway. Anyway, here goes - part three:

  1. The Joker - The Steve Miller Band: amazing what a jeans ad could do for a song, back then
  2. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You - Bryan Adams: well, it was #1 for most of the year, wasn't it?
  3. Rhythm is a Dancer - Snap!: at least this kept that awful cover of Baker Street off the top
  4. Mr Vain - Culture Beat: utter shite. Wasn't this a peak Britpop year?
  5. Love Is All Around - Wet Wet Wet: begat a slew of bad karaoke Pellow impressions
  6. You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson: God, I don't remember the 90s being this bad
  7. Flava - Peter Andre: I'm sorry, I can't help the day I was born on
  8. The Drugs Don't Work - The Verve: funny how movements in popular culture filter down to the charts as they are ending, isn't it?
  9. Bootie Call - All Saints: all vest-tops and camo trousers, more like
  10. Mambo No.5 (A Little Bit Of) - Lou Bega: appropriate way to end a terrible selection of songs

Wait, what? No Blur? No Oasis? No Suede? No Pulp? What a sorry selection from the decade of Britpop! There's only one choice for this week's embed, isn't there? And I really feel this is only going to get worse over the next two weeks...

Source: officialcharts.com

Wednesday, 19 August 2020

50 years of song: 1980-1989

I will be 50 soon. I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I'm going to be counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What will be #1 on my 50th? I don't care really - chances are I'll loathe it anyway. Anyway, here goes - part two:

  1. Feels Like I'm In Love - Kelly Marie: complete with pew-pew percussion
  2. Tainted Love - Soft Cell: love this... but not as much as Say Hello, Wave Goodbye
  3. Eye of the Tiger - Survivor: I pity the fool who doesn't think this is the best thing about Rocky III
  4. Red Red Wine - UB40: ubiquitous ever since. Not a patch on the original, of course...
  5. I Just Called To Say I Love You - Stevie Wonder: I know he's a genius but, controversy alert, this is pap, isn't it?
  6. Dancing in the Street - David Bowie and Mick Jagger: noble, but this begat the worst video in history
  7. Don't Leave Me This Way - The Communards: oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, baby!
  8. Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley: Christ, this series has been Rick-rolled
  9. Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Collins: almost as great a crime as the train robbery (see what I did there?)
  10. Ride on Time - Black Box: colossal. I didn't like it

Amazing how unrepresentative this is of my 80s. Where's The Jam and The Style Council? The Smiths? The Wedding Present? Billy Bragg? It's almost like me and the charts don't correlate ... something to be proud of, eh? Here's the best track of that sorry lot, just pipping The Communards to the right to be embedded. Enjoy. Part three next week.

Source: officialcharts.com

Wednesday, 12 August 2020

50 years of song: 1970-1979

I will be 50 soon. I can scarcely believe it. To mark the passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, I'm going to be counting down (or, rather, up, I suppose) the tracks that were number 1 in the charts on my birthday, starting from the day I was born and working up to the present.

What will be #1 on my 50th? I don't care really - chances are I'll loathe it anyway. Anyway, here goes - part one:

  1. Tears of a Clown - Smokey Robinson and the Miracles: sets the tone perfectly for the next 50 years
  2. I'm Still Waiting - Diana Ross: presumably waiting for the BeeGees to do Chain Reaction with her
  3. Mama Weer All Crazee Now - Slade: this is more like it!
  4. Young Love - Donny Osmond: my sister liked him
  5. Love Me For A Reason - The Osmonds: yes, that one
  6. Sailing - Rod Stewart: I remember this being huge
  7. Dancing Queen - Abba: 433 million YouTube views and counting...
  8. Way Down - Elvis Presley: riding up the charts on a wave of grief
  9. Three Times A Lady - The Commodores: the sight of Lionel going solo hoves into view
  10. We Don't Talk Any More - Cliff Richard: my sister's favourite

Christ, what a dire selection. Osmonds, solo Stewart, dead Presley, Commodores, Cliff... ladies and gentlemen, I give you the decade of punk! Fingers crossed the 80s offer up a better selection... and whilst Slade very nearly got the nod, there's only one song to end with, surely?

Source: officialcharts.com

Monday, 3 August 2020

Twenty in '20: If It Bleeds

I've read far less in recent years than I would like. To help remedy this, I've set myself the modest target of reading twenty books in 2020. When I finish one, a thumbnail review here will follow.

10/20: If It Bleeds by Stephen King

The blurb: News people have a saying: 'If it bleeds, it leads'. And a bomb at Albert Macready Middle School is guaranteed to lead any bulletin.

Holly Gibney of the Finders Keepers detective agency is working on the case of a missing dog - and on her own need to be more assertive - when she sees the footage on TV. But when she tunes in again, to the late-night report, she realises there is something not quite right about the correspondent who was first on the scene. So begins If It Bleeds, a stand-alone sequel to the No. 1 bestselling The Outsider featuring the incomparable Holly on her first solo case - and also the riveting title story in Stephen King's brilliant new collection.

Dancing alongside are three more wonderful long stories from this 'formidably versatile author' (The Sunday Times) - Mr Harrigan's Phone, The Life of Chuck and Rat. All four display the richness of King's storytelling with grace, humour, horror and breathtaking suspense. A fascinating Author's Note gives us a wonderful insight into the origin of each story and the writer's unparalleled imagination.

The review: so here are four novellas from the prodigious and prolific Stephen King. Long-time readers of this blog will know that I am a fan, a so-called Constant Reader: basically, I am genetically predisposed to like this book. And I do, very much. Of the four stories, the real hook, the sales driver if you like, is the title story. A follow-up to the Bill Hodges trilogy and The Outsider, in that it features the much-loved character Holly Gibney, with a cameo from Jerome. We learn, from the author's afterword, that Holly is much-loved by King too, so I hope I'm not giving too much away by saying that this novella gives her story a fitting end. Multiple ends, actually, as this is a novella that doesn't quite know when to stop.

And what of the other novellas on offer here? Mr Harrigan's Phone opens the collection and, in some ways, sets the tone for the whole book in some of its themes: the all-pervasive reach of technology, the awfulness of one Donald Trump and a general feeling of how things aren't as good as they used to be. Isolation too, of course, whether that's geographical or social. So in this tale, we have a young loner communicating with his late employer, a wealthy old man who had retired to the middle of nowhere to get away from it all, via an iPhone that the boy slipped into the old man's jacket pocket as he lay in an open coffin. So far, so King... but also so Poe, to me at least.

In many ways, The Life of Chuck is the most interesting story here. Told in three parts, in reverse chronological order, it opens with a dystopian end-of-days scenario, brilliantly and chillingly evoked - it feels like it could be 2021. But as the tale unwinds, from Act III back to Act I, it becomes apparent that the world as we know it, as depicted in this story, is driven by, and focused on, the life of everyman Chuck. I'm trying hard to avoid spoilers, but Chuck is ill. Very ill...

The collection closes with my favourite of the four tales, Rat. This concerns another of King's favoured recurrent themes, that of a writer who just can't deliver any more. Specifically, in this case, it concerns an author who's had minor success with short stories but whose last attempt at a novel led him to a nervous breakdown and a narrowly averted disaster. So when our protagonist hits upon a new idea for a novel, and proposes to hole up in a cabin in the woods to write it, well, unsurprisingly his wife is unimpressed. But he goes ahead anyway, picking up a bad cold and fever from a shopkeeper at his last stop before the woods, for good measure. Oh, and did I mention that a big storm is on its way, that will take out the power and the phonelines? Quite a set-up, isn't it? And we haven't even got to the rat yet. But better than the premise, better than the tropes of isolation and adversity, is the insight into a writer who is driven mad by an inability to choose words - he has so many at his disposal, and can lose hours (days?) agonising over which metaphor is better. It's a feeling this aspiring but perennially underachieving author can identify with. I have never been holed up in a cabin in the Maine woods, deprived of all power, cut-off from the outside world. But this story felt so real to me.

All in all, this is a fine book - King has successfully extended his record of releasing four-novella collections. I raced through it, and enjoyed all four stories - they are recognisably King, no apples have fallen far from the tree here, with the possible slight exception of The Life of Chuck. Fans will eat it up; equally, it is unlikely to win over many converts to the King cause. One closing observation though - the eponymous If It Bleeds has a conventional climactic ending (followed by a number of codas), but none of the other three do. They are stories that just come to an end, sometimes satisfyingly, sometimes leaving questions unanswered. There's no showboating, they are just stories that are told. King can get away with this because he's Stephen King. I did wonder though whether an unknown or unheralded author would have had these stories published, in this format, with these endings. Based on my admittedly limited experience of agents and publishers, I think not - there would be a lot of editing required (demanded), more of the loose strings would have to be tied up. But I'm not complaining - sometimes it's enough, I think, just to tell the story.

The bottom line: four fine, original tales that King fans will love, with favourite themes revisited and a nice epilogue to the Holly Gibney story.

Since everything online is rated these days: ★★★★★☆