Friday, 21 November 2008

Stuck in the car

I know, another music-related post. But I'm sure I'm not alone in occasionally being unable to get out of the car when I arrive wherever it was I was driving to, because there's a song on the radio that's just too good to leave before it finishes. This morning it was Lightspeed Champion's cover of "Back to Black" that kept me sitting in the car, mouthing along to the words to the doubtless amusement of work colleagues. This is a clever cover of Amy Winehouse's song, that goes beyond the simple guy-to-girl lyrical changes, though it does that too.

Unscrupulous downloaders may find this gem here...

Thursday, 20 November 2008

It's not St Swithin's Day but...

On Tuesday night, I was channel-surfing through a pretty average selection of typical British television. Nothing was on. As I surfed through BBC1, and chanced upon god-awful medical drama Holby City, I stopped. For there, at the end of the show, was Billy Bragg. No, he hasn't fallen on times so hard that he's been reduced to cameo appearances on ailing hospital-based soaps. Rather, the show seemed to be closing with a montage, presumably intended to wrap up a number of plotlines in seamless visual harmony... and that montage was being soundtracked by Uncle Bill's "St Swithin's Day". So I stopped surfing and watched - well, listened - to enjoy this most beautiful of songs. And then... then the sods faded Bill out before the last verse, and up came the jarring Holby theme tune as the credits rolled! What were they thinking? If you're going to introduce a moment of genuine class and sublime beauty to your tawdry show, at least have the decency to include it in its entirety!

So, for anyone else that loves this song (and that should be everybody), here are the lyrics in full, including the third stanza so stupidly omitted by the Beeb.

St Swithin's Day by Billy Bragg

Thinking back now,
I suppose you were just stating your views
What was it all for
For the weather or the Battle of Agincourt
And the times that we all hoped would last
Like a train they have gone by so fast
And though we stood together
At the edge of the platform
We were not moved by them

With my own hands
When I make love to your memory
It's not the same
I miss the thunder
I miss the rain
And the fact that you don't understand
Casts a shadow over this land
But the sun still shines from behind it.

Thanks all the same
But I just can't bring myself to answer your letters
It's not your fault
But your honesty touches me like a fire
The Polaroids that hold us together
Will surely fade away
Like the love that we spoke of forever
On St Swithin's Day.
I couldn't find an MP3 of this song to link to, or a YouTube of an official video (mainly because I don't think there was one), but there is this that you can "watch" to get a flavour of the song in full. Even with just a static image, it beats watching Holby any day of the week.


Footnote: St Swithin's Day is actually the 15th of July. According to tradition, whatever the weather on that day it will continue the same for the next 40 days. Which is, of course, bollocks.

Friday, 14 November 2008

A message for The Zutons

I went to see The Zutons last night. If I'm honest, I have to say they were disappointing. Sure, things livened up, for the crowd at least, when they played "Valerie", though the band themselves seemed a bit bored playing it. And I enjoyed "Why Won't You Give Me Your Love?", though mainly for its lyrical resonance, if truth be told. Much is made of saxophonist Abi Harding (right), the glamour and the attraction she adds to the Zutons mix, and it's true to say she's pretty and jigs abouts in a most agreeable way. But it wasn't enough to salvage the gig.

So, on the off-chance that a Zuton or two might end up reading this blog post (quite likely, I'm sure), here are a few tips. First, engage with your audience - you know, it really wouldn't hurt to interact with them a bit, or at least recognise that you're playing for their benefit, not just your own. Second, look like you're enjoying yourselves; you're rock stars, something that most of your audience would give their eye-teeth to be, so at least look like you're having fun living their dream. And finally - most importantly - do not end your encore with a rambling, unfamiliar and self-indulgent instrumental that goes on too long and leaves the audience wondering what's happening. You're supposed to end on a high - it's an unwritten gig law.

Your lighting rig was good though.

Thursday, 6 November 2008

There doesn't have to be a death for you to mourn

I've been thinking a lot about poetry lately. Partly because I'm doing a creative writing diploma course, and partly because I've been listening to "By Heart: 101 Poems to Remember", an audio book read by Ted Hughes, in the car.

One of the poems Hughes reads on the audio book is "Stop All The Clocks" by W. H. Auden, a poem of grief and mourning made even more famous than it already was by its inclusion in the film "Four Weddings and a Funeral". Here's the poem in full, as featured in the Hugh Grant-powered film.
Stop All The Clocks by W. H. Auden
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone.
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead,
Put crépe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song,
I thought that love would last forever: 'I was wrong'.
The stars are not wanted now, put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Amazing, isn't it? Not even the over-exposure that it has had since its rom-com debut in the mid-nineties has lessened its power.

It strikes me that, although this is clearly a funereal poem, the way that it evokes grief makes it applicable to anything that can be mourned. Many, many years ago, a friend I made at university went back home, not just a few miles away but home to another country, thousands of miles away. I went from seeing her every day to not knowing if I would ever see her again. I had a sick, hollow, what's-the-point feeling in my stomach for days, no, weeks (months, if truth be told). I loved my friend, and though she was only a phone call or a letter away (this was in the days before email, instant messaging, Skype and webcams), I mourned the daily part she played in my life, and I in hers. No-one had died but something had gone, and I grieved for a long time.
I'm grieving again now. This time love, true love in the most romantic sense, is gone, and with it the hopes, plans and dreams for my future with a very special someone. She really is my North, my South, my East and West... but sadly, I am not even on her map.

At my writing class last night, we were tasked with writing an abstract poem - I wrote a couple, one of which was entitled "Despair" and I think, subconsciously, Auden's work was on my mind as I did so. Certainly you could see the influence of lines like "the stars are not wanted now, put out every one; pack up the moon and dismantle the sun" - my poem turned out similar in tone and structure. No, I'm not going to reproduce it here. Firstly, it's private and, secondly, I'm not going to be foolish enough to include a poem of my own alongside one by Auden, am I - there's only going to be one winner there. I will say, though, that the whole exercise has made me realise just how much Auden's poem can be applicable for anything that can be mourned, anything that can be grieved over. No-one literally has to die; there doesn't have to be a literal coffin for this poem to be relevant. It certainly resonates with me right now. And the irony is that the audio book was a gift from the woman who truly is "my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song".

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

You've got a vote - use it wisely

There are all kinds of things I could be writing about today: the beer festival I went to last Thursday (Bishop's Farewell... excellent), the comedian Ed Byrne who I saw on Friday (good, not great), the washed out fireworks display I went to at the weekend (where the only thing warm was the company), and more. I also considered writing about Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross, specifically how only two people complained about their show when it was broadcast but how the tabloid press stoked up the fire and made it into a story, such that over 35,000 people have now complained, most of whom never even heard the "offending" remarks in the first place. The curse of the Daily Wail strikes again...

Barack Obama's campaign logoBut instead of all these things, I'm going to write about the US presidential election. I'm not American. I do not have a vote. Indeed, as an Englishman some 3,497 miles from New York (according to freemaptools.com), and even further from Washington, you might ask why I'm bothered. Simply this - for the time being, POTUS is the most powerful man on the planet. Every decision he takes has the potential to affect us all, directly or indirectly, especially when it comes to foreign policy matters. So the question of whether Barack Obama or John McCain fills the hot seat should interest and concern us all.

So, on the off-chance that this blog may have an American reader or two... please use your vote. After all, it's no good moaning about whoever subsequently wins if you don't get down to the polling booth and do your bit. And don't assume Obama's going to win just because he's ahead in the polls - don't let apathy beat him! And if you're undecided, ask yourself this: do you really want four more years of what you've had for the last eight? I'm guessing not. Use your vote and use it for Barack Obama. If it helps to convince you, take a look at this remake of the old Budweiser "Whassup?" advert, which cleverly updates us on the current whereabouts of the original crew.

Then, when you've done your bit, treat yourself to a DVD of Election, one of the funniest films of the last ten years and a perfect political satire.

Tuesday, 21 October 2008

You couldn't make it up, part DCXLI

Take a look at this story on the BBC news website regarding "no god" slogans appearing on London buses - an interesting and thought-provoking story in its own right. In particular, note how, two thirds of the way through the article, Stephen Green of pressure group Christian Voice is quoted as saying, "People don't like being preached at."

Is it just me that finds this funny?

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

Geocities and adverts

Don't click this, it's not actually an ad
I, like a lot of people around the world, use Geocities as the free host for this website. Geocities are okay, they're very stable, with excellent uptime, and the provision (15MB of space, 3GB/mth bandwidth) is plenty for me thus far. And like I said, it's free, right? So what's the problem? Look to the right... that sodding ad bar down the side of the page. Sure, you can collapse it with the little arrow at the top but as soon as you move to another page within the site, it re-opens.

Now there are lots of purported solutions to this on the Internet but, take it from me, they're all crap. Some do indeed dispense with the ad bar... but then Geocities' clever script falls back to adding the old ad square instead, which is no better. Other so-called solutions are nothing better than half-arsed hacks of your browser window's history, so whilst the ad bar disappears your browser's 'Back' button is hijacked and meddled with. Not so good. Besides, as a responsible Geocities user I am forbidden from doing anything with my site that would prevent the ad bar from showing, not only by my conscience but also by their T's and C's.

I can help you though, and not just to view this site as I intended it, but also to do away with the ad bar on every free Geocities site that you ever visit. Interested? Here's how you do it.

For Internet Explorer, download and install IE7Pro. For Firefox users, download and install Adblock Plus. For Opera users, well, from version 9.5 onwards you've got an integrated ad blocker. Anyway, whichever browser (and blocker) you're using, you need to manually add block filters for http://us.geocities.com/js_source and http://www.geocities.com/js_source - by blacklisting these URLs you'll put the kibosh on the Geocities ad bar. Hooray!

Obviously Geocities are only able to offer the likes of me free web space by forcing ad's on visitors to my site, so clearly I in no way advocate or endorse any such ad blockers. This post is purely for educational purposes...

Friday, 26 September 2008

Andy Burnham for PM!

In the October issue of Q Magazine Andy Burnham, Labour's Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport, is quoted as saying "I would trade in the whole political career tomorrow if I could join The Wedding Present." Now whatever you think of his politics, you have to admire that...

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Education for leisure

I've just finished reading the story of how the AQA exam board is removing a poem "about a knife-carrying violent loner" from its anthology for GCSE English because of fears over teenage knife crime. All well and good, you might think. The poem in question is Education for Leisure written by Carol Ann Duffy. What's more, AQA has advised schools to destroy all copies of the anthology (why not have a ritual book burning, it's been done before, right?) - generous to the last, the exam board says it will send replacements not containing the offending poem.

So why all the fuss? Yes, the poem begins with the line: "Today I am going to kill something. Anything." But it is surely anti-violence, anti-knife crime, and, in my view, about as far from glamourising it as can be. Surely there is value in getting people of GCSE age to think about the issues and thought processes that lead to crime of this nature? Surely there is value in encouraging people to think twice about this issue?

The BBC article does not reproduce the poem in full, so I will, here. Read it, and have a think - then make your own mind up. Are AQA doing the right thing? Or pandering to ill-conceived, knee-jerk panic?
Education for Leisure by Carol Ann Duffy
Today I am going to kill something. Anything.
I have had enough of being ignored and today
I am going to play God. It is an ordinary day,
a sort of grey with boredom stirring in the streets
I squash a fly against the window with my thumb.
we did that at school. Shakespeare. It was in
another language and now the fly is in another language.
I breathe out talent on the glass to write my name.
I am a genius. I could be anything at all, with half
the chance. But today I am going to change the world.
something's world. The cat avoids me. The cat
knows I am a genius, and has hidden itself.
I pour the goldfish down the bog. I pull the chain.
I see that it is good. The budgie is panicking.
Once a fortnight, I walk the two miles into town
For signing on. They don't appreciate my autograph.
There is nothing left to kill. I dial the radio
and tell the man he's talking to a superstar.
he cuts me off. I get our bread-knife and go out.
the pavements glitter suddenly. I touch your arm.

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Don't win a little, win a lotto... (or don't win at all)

The National Lottery's faintly clever logo
Just so you know, if I suddenly disappear from the face of the Internet, I haven't been hit by a bus (well, conceivably I might have, but let's hope not). Rather more optimistically, maybe I'll have won the National Lottery, since I'm just starting up a syndicate with some colleagues at work. Now in reality our chances of winning more than the occasional tenner are slim - by my reckoning, the odds of landing the jackpot prize are 1 in 13,983,816... so, with fourteen people in our syndicate, I guess you could say we have a one in a million chance each week. No wonder some people call lotteries a tax on the innumerate...

...but of course I'm not innumerate - I'm just choosing to subscribe to the view that you've got to be in it to win it... wish me luck!