A message for The Zutons

I went to see The Zutons last night. If I'm honest, I have to say they were disappointing. Sure, things livened up, for the crowd at least, when they played "Valerie", though the band themselves seemed a bit bored playing it. And I enjoyed "Why Won't You Give Me Your Love?", though mainly for its lyrical resonance, if truth be told. Much is made of saxophonist Abi Harding (right), the glamour and the attraction she adds to the Zutons mix, and it's true to say she's pretty and jigs abouts in a most agreeable way. But it wasn't enough to salvage the gig.

So, on the off-chance that a Zuton or two might end up reading this blog post (quite likely, I'm sure), here are a few tips. First, engage with your audience - you know, it really wouldn't hurt to interact with them a bit, or at least recognise that you're playing for their benefit, not just your own. Second, look like you're enjoying yourselves; you're rock stars, something that most of your audience would give their eye-teeth to be, so at least look like you're having fun living their dream. And finally - most importantly - do not end your encore with a rambling, unfamiliar and self-indulgent instrumental that goes on too long and leaves the audience wondering what's happening. You're supposed to end on a high - it's an unwritten gig law.

Your lighting rig was good though.