TLAP: St Austell Proper Job IPA 0.5%

You know how it is, by now. I found myself in the supermarket, looking for an ale to accompany that evening's pizza and film combo. A familiar name hoved into view...

St Austell Proper Job IPA 0.5%

What's it like? In recent TLAP posts, I've talked about the difficulty in trying to make an alcohol-free version of an existing, well-loved ale - it can be very hard, as Adnams have found with their 0.5% Ghost Ship. Fortunately, though, Cornwall's St Austell Brewery have shown that this alchemy is not impossible, with their 0.5% IPA. Genuinely, if I hadn't looked at the label (and, let's be honest, bought it), I would not have known I wasn't drinking the real McCoy. It completely looks, smells and tastes the part. Speaking of taste, there are subtle citrus and grapefruit notes in this... but primarily you get lovely light, clean hoppiness and a nice bite in a very easy-drinking package.

Bottom line - St Austell have, fortunately given the name, made a proper job of this.

Would I drink it in a pub? Yes.

Would I drink more than one? Yes.

Would I drink it all night? Yes.

Stats: 0.5% ABV. Calories 21 kcal/100ml. Currently £1.95 for a 500ml bottle in Sainsbury's

Stars: ★★★★★

As usual then, a song. What to post for a "proper job"? Some live Johnny Marr, of course, here doing The Right Thing Right.

Thank you for the days IV: Sunday

And so, the fourth iteration of this blog series comes to an end. Congratulations if you made it to the end. Just remember, however trying you found it, I had to write this stuff.

Sonic Youth have not featured on these pages often enough. Let's start remedying that now, with their Sunday from 1998, which is laden with all the motorik rhythms and scuzzy guitar you might expect. The slightly odd video features a late-teen Macaulay Culkin.

Next up, The Doors, with Blue Sunday from 1970's Morrison Hotel. This is alright, though Jim's lyrics are far from his best. It's a simpler, bluesier affair than most of the previous album though, and no worse for that. Of its time, maybe, but then aren't most things?

Let's end with some Cranberries. Sunday was the third track on their debut album, Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We? and was also released as a promo single in the US. It's archetypal Cranberries: Marr-inspired guitars, Dolores's distinctive vocals, syncopated drums and singalong lyrics... what's not to like?

Well, at least this all ended on something good. Hard to imagine there will ever be another round of Thank you for the days ... but then last time I confidently wrote, "There will be no part IV. Part IVs are for Star Wars episodes and Rocky. Don't even try to persuade me."

But really, that's it: the end. I mean it this time. Honest.

Thank you for the days IV: Saturday

Saturday. Just get this out of the way, then we can all look forward to the end.

Let's start with something bright and breezy: this is Saturday by Saint Etienne. If you are generally well-disposed to the band, everything you already like is present and correct here. As an aside, Sarah and the other two (sorry) have announced their final tour, with dates across the UK in September. Miss it and miss out, as they say.

Surprise time - I bet you didn't have Sam Fender on your New Amusements bingo card, did you? No, me neither. But whisper it quietly, this is alright, for modern chart fare. God, I hate how old I sound. Anyway, adjust your expectations and see if you can stick with this... Bonus Super Hans content in the video too.

One more Saturday, this time by Starbenders. I know nothing about them other than that they have a terrible name (admittedly that's opinion, not fact). This has a nice jangly intro that caught my ear, but sadly after that this descends into disposable MOR territory. For all this sounds like it came from somewhere in the 1987-1992 soft rock wasteland, it was actually recorded and released this year. Amazing.

Only Sunday left - please join me in a collective sigh of relief.

Thank you for the days IV: Friday

Friday. We can soon put this series out of its misery. If it were a horse, etc...

Lily Allen is a funny one, in my book. She managed to dodge the nepo baby tag by actually being objectively quite good at her thing, early doors. Now, apparently, she's made a whole album slating her ex hubby. But this, Friday Night is from her first flush, and is a great short story song.

Here's a very different Friday Night, from The Darkness. I don't mind Justin Hawkins - he doesn't take himself too seriously, at least he doesn't seem to, but on the quiet he is a proper aficionado, with strong, informed opinions about music in general and the music business in particular. Either way, Justin and his mates seem like they had fun making this. Good on them.

And now something for all those coming to this blog series for a dose of crap '70s prog ballsackery. This is Friday the 13th by Atomic Rooster. Behold the ridiculous album sleeve art and adjust your expectations accordingly.

Saturday next... rounding the corner into the home straight...

Thank you for the days IV: Thursday

More twaddle from me featuring songs with the day of the week in the title. What a time to be alive.

Must be a little bittersweet to be a Futurehead. Yes, they've achieved a degree of fame and even longevity, but they're still best known for covering other people. Still, this is one of their own, so that's a relief. Their Thursday was on 2006 album News And Tributes, and has a great first line.

By contrast, The Icicle Works' Sweet Thursday doesn't have a great first line, but is an inoffensive slice of 80s pop that I'd completely forgotten about until researching this post. That maybe tells its own story, maybe not. See what you think. Fun fact: in the US, the band were just Icicle Works - no definite article. I don't know why.

And if the 80s weren't far enough back for you, To Claudia On Thursday by The Millennium dates from 1968. And it's very much of that time - all flowers in the hair, sunshine harmonies and mind-expanding substances. This is alright though, even if it didn't lead to bigger things for the band: one album, one standalone single, and they were done.

Friday tomorrow, and it's all downhill from there...

Thank you for the days IV: Wednesday

What now? I hear you say. Three songs with the day of the week in the title, that's what! I spoil you, I know.

Tori Amos is quietly pretty amazing sometimes. Her Wednesday is nearly a quarter of a century old, but still sounds fresh and innovative. So literate too. This is from the Scarlet's Walk concept album, and describes the eponymous heroine getting into a new relationship with a partner whose secrets make her suspicious. We've all been there though, right?

A change of pace now with some electronica from New York's Fischerspooner. Their Wednesday comes from the 2009 album Odyssey. Fun fact: Fischerspooner's name comes from concatenating the duo's surnames (Warren Fischer and Casey Spooner). Your definition of "fun" may vary.

How to follow that? How about with some pre-Purple Rain Prince? This is Wednesday from Piano And A Microphone 1983, the album of demos his estate issued posthumously in 2018. For the casual fan there possibly isn't too much here to get excited about, certainly little indication of what was to come post-Purple Rain. But this is Prince, so we can view it from a different perspective.

Thursday tomorrow, and past the halfway mark. What do you mean, phew?!

Thank you for the days IV: Tuesday

You know the drill by now: three songs that have the day of the week in the title. I wish I could make it sound fancier than that, but I can't. And they say blogging has run its course!

This is On A Tuesday by 80s indie nearlymen The Loft. They reformed recently after 40 years off, did you know? I saw them support The Wedding Present last year, and very good they sounded too.

Primal Scream are a funny lot, aren't they? I'm not sure they've ever really been sure what sort of band they want to be. At various times they've been rave-lite, The Rolling Stones and here, with Gentle Tuesday, they make a decent fist of being The Byrds. I don't mind this at all.

I don't know but I imagine Everything's Tuesday by The Chairmen of the Board would go down well at a Northern Soul night. This is from 1970 (a fine year) and features the original Johnson/Custis/Woods/Kennedy line-up of a band that would change much over the years. That "HDH" on the sleeve, bottom right, is the clue that The Chairmen were signed to Holland-Dozier-Holland's Invictus/Hot Wax group of record labels.

Wednesday tomorrow! Whatever next? (Thursday, obviously...)

Thank you for the days IV: Monday

It seems like only yesterday, in blog terms, but it's actually three years since I ran the Thank you for the days series. You'll recall the gist: each day I'd post three songs that had that day of the week in the title. And since I ran the series three times, I've already featured nine songs for each day, and that's why I stopped running it - the law of diminishing returns kicked in, and it got too hard to find more songs that were either good or interesting or preferably both.

Well, in three years since, I've been making notes and squirrelling songs away in my YouTube Watch Later list, and now I think I have enough candidates for one final run. See what you think.

First up we head back to 1996, where we find Wilco at their most bar-band. Having said that, the brass that kicks in around the 1:40 mark elevates things for Monday by Jeff et al.

Next up is Quadeca, about whom I know very little (though Wikipedia tells me his real name is Benjamin Fernando Barajas Lasky). His take on Monday was the second single from the 2025 album Vanisher, Horizon Scraper. I don't know if I like this or not but it certainly falls into the "interesting" category. Chamber pop, apparently.

Let's close this for today with a song for my old man, who has always loved Karen's voice. This might be twee, MOR, easy-listening ... but 72 million views can't all be wrong. Besides, that voice... Dad's right about that.

Guess what? Tuesday tomorrow! Control your excitement...

I've got the key to the door

I don't think turning 21 has quite the significance it once did, but it is still the minimum age in the UK for adopting a child and for supervising a learner driver. Regardless of such useless trivia, this blog is 21 today and, somehow, still here, albeit with plenty of style and location changes. Incredible really but, long as that seems, I have older band t-shirts. Anyway, sorry for all the crap posts.

Here's an appropriate song by The Cranberries, and a reminder of why the late Dolores' voice stood out so much.

Beautiful pizza time

Do what I say, never do what I do
'Cos I'm the same as you

But why bother?

I'm on a Bleach Lab mailing list. I don't remember signing up, but I must have done at some point. Let's blame Bandcamp.

Anyway, they emailed last week to announce a new release, "a spontaneous decision to record a last minute cover at a live session last year" - specifically, their take on The Cardigans' My Favourite Game. Like must of Bleach Lab's output, it's perfectly serviceable but... well, have a listen.

Which is fine. But it's so close to the Cardigans' original, it really makes you wonder why they bothered. Or is that just me being a miserable sod?

Here's the source. Oh Nina (obligatory Scandi-sigh, etc)...

Randcamp: Valentine's Day

There are untold well-known songs referencing Valentine's Day. But what about the unknown? Searching Bandcamp for "Valentine's Day" throws up page after page after page of tracks; here are three that I could bear to listen to more than once.

Split Pistols were a four-piece from either Austin, Texas, or Pennsylvania, depending which line of their Bandcamp bio you choose to believe. I (predictably) like the jangly guitar intro to this, but am yet to be entirely won over by the vocal. Your mileage may vary.

Maddie Bryant comes from Huntingdon Beach, which is somewhere in California. Her Valentine's Day feels pleasingly DIY, with a sweetness and lo-fi pop charm, I reckon. Your mileage may blah blah...

Ross Adams comes from North Carolina, and is the most established of today's three acts, what with his own dotcom website address, studio albums, working with Jason Isbell, and such like. Probably the pick of the three but your mileage, you know?

Three Randcamp choices from the hundreds that matched today's search phrase. Are any setting your heart aflutter?

The day before

I know tomorrow is all hearts, flowers and Hallmark cards... but here's a reminder that it isn't always like that, from Graham Coxon's project with Rose Elinor Dougall, The WAEVE. Their capitalisation.

My boys
Pretty girls
Come to me
Let your dreams come true
Live among me forever

Young ones 
Stay a while
Fall in love 
Sail the seven dials
Let them bind us together 

How so warm, when so cold?

Ahhh, love is all pain
Thought I’d escaped it
But I need it again
It’s hard, it’s hard
It’s harder than hell
I know you feel it, babe
I know you can tell

Ahhh, love is all pain
Thought I’d escaped it
But I need it again
It’s hard, it’s hard
It’s harder than hell
I know you feel it, babe
I know you can tell

I gave you the moon
You made the sun 
That’s what it’s like when you love someone
Summoning life as souls collide  
See the past burn in the fire 
 
Not gonna live life in the shadows
That’s what’s it’s like when you love someone
Love hard, love strong all through the night
Live hard, live long don’t stop the fight
Not gonna live life in the shadows
That’s what’s it’s like when you love someone
Love hard, love strong all through the night
Live hard, live long don’t stop the fight

Never give up you’re in love this time 
Never give up you’re in love this time 

My boys
Pretty girls 
Come to me
Make my dreams come true
It’s the easiest thing to do

Alignment

Sometimes, not often but sometimes, mood, circumstance and music align perfectly. So it was last night, on the long, dark, lone drive away from everything and nothing.

Pan American are an experimental electronic music ensemble, according to Wikipedia, and have been quietly beavering away at this kind of thing for nearly 30 years.

Question and answer

Q. What do you think French-language Canadian shoegaze made by an impossibly good-looking collection of youths sounds like.

A. This. This is Minimum by Montreal's Bon Enfant.

And with all apologies for my O-level French translation...

C’est une belle journée Sans téléphone Il n’y a que toi Et le soleil qui rayonne Sans effets spéciaux Ta main dans mon dos Les nuages se déforment On dirait du pop corn On fait le minimum On le fait comme personne Juste le minimum On le fait comme personne C’est une belle journée Le vent qui résonne Assise par terre Dans tes bras grands ouverts On fait le minimum On le fait comme personne Juste le minimum On le fait comme personne

It's a beautiful day No phone It's just you And the sun shining No special effects Your hand on my back The clouds are shifting They look like popcorn We're doing the minimum We're doing it like no-one else Just the minimum We're doing it like no-one else It's a beautiful day The wind is rustling Sitting on the ground In your wide-open arms We're doing the minimum We're doing it like no-one else Just the minimum We're doing it like no-one else

Worlds collide

When two worlds collide, the result is often a giant mess. But just occasionally, something wonderful happens.

I've written about Abba's The Day Before You Came before - indeed, I made it a Clandestine Classic all the way back in 2012, when that series was still a thing. It is an amazing song, for me the crowning achievement of the band's storied career. It is their best lyric, by far, and the music, soaked through in quiet melodrama, oh! It's quite the thing, even now, more than 40 years later. The record-buying public were less convinced - it only limped to #32 in the UK chart. But what does the record-buying public know?

There have been lots of cover versions since, of course, notably by Blancmange and The Real Tuesday Weld. Now there's another... and it's a marriage made in heaven.

Pulp's skill with kitchen-sink drama is a perfect fit for this tale of minor-key heartbreak rooted in the mundane, whilst the arrangement and BBC Concert Orchestra backing do justice to the majesty of the music. And all for Radio 2's Piano Room feature! I hope everyone involved knows what they've got here, and I hope - forlornly, no doubt - that this becomes a regular addition to Pulp's live set, so well is it suited to Jarvis et al.

She's so strange

There's a woman who works in the same wing of the same floor of the same building as me. She's in a different department, a different team, and our respective jobs do not overlap in any way. We share a kitchen where we both make tea, and use the same printer, but that's about it. I only know her name because it's on her office door. She doesn't know mine, because my office is at the far end of a dead-end corridor (insert own joke here) and you'd never walk past it unless you were coming to see me. We have never spoken.

Except.

If she passes me in the stairwell, she always says hello.

Weird, no?

TLAP: Big Drop Brewing Co. Paradiso Citra IPA

There I was, propping up the bar in a hipper-than-thou boutique hotel, asking more in hope than expectation whether they had any alcohol-free ales. They had two! And this was one...

Big Drop Brewing Co. Paradiso Citra IPA

I wrote in my last TLAP post how much the world of alcohol-free ale has moved on the in the last ten years, and here is a great example. It's not a slavish attempt to mimic an existing bitter but remove the alcohol, no, this is a fresh brew in its own right. And it's bloody lovely. Citra gives the hops away, and there's a lovely fresh citrus taste in every mouthful - always present but never overpowering. My only slight bug bear is that at one point I forgot I was drinking an ale - it could almost have been a regular soft drink, so what's the point? But then, what's the point in being alive? Beats me, we're stuck with it, I suppose. Anyway, Big Drop Brewing's slogan is "beer so good, you won't miss the alcohol" which is not catchy but, fortunately, turns out to be accurate in this case.

Would I drink it in a pub? Yes.

Would I drink more than one? Yes.

Would I drink it all night? Yes, unless I was in the boutique hotel bar all evening, in which case I might start to baulk at the £5.75 they charged me for a 330ml bottle...

Stats: 0.5% ABV. Calories 11 kcal/330ml. Currently unavailable in Big Drop Brewing Co.'s Amazon store

Stars: ★★★★⯪

Finding a song for this post was tricky. I was going to choose Lemon by U2, for the ale's citrus undertone but, you know, U2 raise antibodies, don't they? Instead, I've gone for some Crowded House; this song contains the line "Ready or not, here comes the drop" which, is nothing else, links (very) loosely to the brewery. QED

They killed and roamed, in the winter of '26

I'm not the biggest Springsteen fan but he's got a new single out, and it's a protest song that you could imagine Dylan or our own political troubadour, Billy Bragg, singing. Yesterday, Bruce himself wrote on Instagram:

"I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It's dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good. Stay free..."

As a long-time critic of the Orange Manchild, he doesn't hold back, as you might expect.

Through the winter's ice and cold
Down Nicollet Avenue
A city aflame fought fire and ice
'Neath an occupier's boots
King Trump's private army from the DHS
Guns belted to their coats
Came to Minneapolis to enforce the law
Or so their story goes

Against smoke and rubber bullets
In the dawn's early light
Citizens stood for justice
Their voices ringing through the night
And there were bloody footprints
Where mercy should have stood
And two dead, left to die on snow-filled streets
Alex Pretti and Renee Good

Oh, our Minneapolis, I hear your voice
Singing through the bloody mist
We'll take our stand for this land
And the stranger in our midst
Here in our home, they killed and roamed
In the winter of '26
We'll remember the names of those who died
On the streets of Minneapolis

Trump's federal thugs beat up on
His face and his chest
Then we heard the gunshots
And Alex Pretti lay in the snow dead
Their claim was self-defense, sir
Just don't believe your eyes
It's our blood and bones
And these whistles and phones
Against Miller and Noem's dirty lies

Oh, our Minneapolis, I hear your voice
Crying through the bloody mist
We'll remember the names of those who died
On the streets of Minneapolis

Now they say they're here to uphold the law
But they trample on our rights
If your skin is black or brown, my friend
You can be questioned or deported on sight
In our chants of "ICE out now"
Our city's heart and soul persists
Through broken glass and bloody tears
On the streets of Minneapolis

Oh, our Minneapolis, I hear your voice
Singing through the bloody mist
Here in our home, they killed and roamed
In the winter of '26
We'll take our stand for this land
And the stranger in our midst
We'll remember the names of those who died
On the streets of Minneapolis
We'll remember the names of those who died
On the streets of Minneapolis

ICE out (ICE out)
ICE out (ICE out)
ICE out (ICE out)
ICE out (ICE out)
ICE out (ICE out)
ICE out

Isolated, deserted and friendless

So, Robbie Williams now has more number one albums than The Beatles. Sorry, but I had to write that down, to make it seem more real. Nothing against Rob, honestly... but really?

Anyway, there's a song on his latest chart-topper, Britpop, called Morrissey. It's a co-write with fellow Take That alumnus Gary Barlow, who also weighs in with some backing vocals. Here it is.

I don't know what to make of this really. The first couple of verses seem to acknowledge that SPM is not how we all remember him, and still want him to be... but they also seem like an attempt to excuse ("He's a little eccentric.") or explain ("He did an interview. I think what he meant was..."). It's Moz-washing, basically.

I like the singer
He's a little eccentric
He did an interview
I think what he meant was
I'm lost, I'm lonely, I'm hurt, I'm abused
I need love baby, just like you
I'm isolated, deserted and friendless
But the beat goes on, and it feels tremendous

Morrissey (Morrissey), Morrissey (Morrissey)
Is talking to me, talking to me in code
Morrissey (Morrissey), Morrissey (Morrissey)
It's just you and me and they don't need to know

Come here let me hold you, let me hold you for the rest of your life
Come here let me hold you, ah ah ah ah-ah

I never said a word and yet you heard me
I'm a little like you but a lot less worthy
Oh, I don't know, I'm gonna try writing songs
I've got so much to say, they're only 3 minutes long
I'm lost, I'm lonely, I'm hurt, I'm abused
I need love baby just like you
I'll take to the world like a lover spurned
You've had your go now it's my turn

Morrissey (Morrissey), Morrissey (Morrissey)
Is talking to me, talking to me in code
Morrissey (Morrissey), Morrissey (Morrissey)
It's just you and me and they don't need to know

Come here let me hold you, let me hold you for the rest of your life
Come here let me hold you, ah ah ah ah-ah

I'm lost, I'm lonely, I'm hurt, I'm abused
I need love baby just like you
I'll take to the world like a lover spurned
You've had your go now it's my turn

Come here let me hold you, let me hold you for the rest of your life
Come here let me hold you, ah ah ah ah-ah
Come here let me hold you, let me hold you for the rest of your life
Come here let me hold you, ah ah ah ah-ah

Morrissey (Morrissey), Morrissey (seriously)
Is talking to me, talking to me in code
Morrissey (Morrissey), Morrissey (seriously)
It's just you and me, and they don't need to know
It's just you and me, it's just you and me

All of which brings to mind, as a counterpoint if nothing else, Dear Stephen by The Manic Street Preachers. Rol's covered that before, much better than I can. I don't think you can accuse MSP of Moz-washing but, like Robbie, they just wish the Morrissey of 2026 could be a bit more like the Morrissey of 1986. But then, to paraphrase one of his heartbreak lines, don't we all want the one we can't have?

You're, you're still my bad habit
My, a dark little secret
My illicit unseen drug
My secret hidden love

Dear Stephen, please come back to us
I believe in repentance and forgiveness
It's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be kind
To paraphrase one of your heartbreak lines

I'm still ill, I'm cursed to stay
Under your spell for all my days
I'm still a prisoner to you and Larkin
Even as your history darkens

Dear Stephen, please come back to us
I believe in repentance and forgiveness
It's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be kind
To paraphrase one of your heartbreak lines

I've been the boy with the thorn in his side
I want you vivid in your prime

Dear Stephen, please come back to us
I believe in repentance and forgiveness
It's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be kind
To paraphrase one of your heartbreak lines

TLAP: Adnams Ghost Ship 0.5%

I found myself in the supermarket last Friday, looking for an ale to accompany the evening's pizza and film combo. A familiar name hoved into view.

Adnams Ghost Ship 0.5%

What's it like? I'll say this as someone who, as an inhabitant of East Anglia, has consumed and enjoyed quite a lot of the regular Ghost Ship from Southwold's Adnams brewery, and that's a decent beer. I had high hopes for this, then, but regret to say I was a little bit disappointed. The original majors on hops and citrus notes, and this tries... but it just doesn't taste quite as nice. To your reviewer, it also seemed a little bit too gassy.

Don't get me wrong, this is good enough, and ten years ago would have been a class-leading ale, but the world of alcohol-free beer has moved on, and this has been surpassed, in my view.

Would I drink it in a pub? Yes.

Would I drink more than one? No, there are other, tastier ales on offer.

Would I drink it all night? No, I think the slight over-gassiness would be a problem.

Stats: 0.5% ABV. Calories 60 kcal/500ml. Currently £1.75 for a 500ml cans in Waitrose

Stars: ★★★☆☆

As usual then, a song. I've posted Ghost Town by The Specials often on this blog, so here's something else, Ghost by Such Small Hands, aka Melanie Howard. I've posted this before too, but I love her voice so indulge me...

Blue Friday: I Am Hated For Loving

Another gem from Alain Whyte's YouTube channel. The only thing that would improve this video would be having both hands in shot.

"We're all going backwards..."

"...the world's in division"

These words, these lyrics from ...And Stones, are what came to mind recently and repeatedly. It comes from listening to the news too much, from despairing at the geopolitical chaos unleashed upon the world by the orange toddler. As if having climate anxiety wasn't enough, now we can be anxious about everything else as well.

Yes, I know this is me returning to Swagger yet again. Sorry (not sorry). Take comfort in the fact that one day I'll get to the point where I've featured every song on the album at least once... and then I can just stop blogging completely and put us all out of our misery. Until then...

Hey, you in that dress
Yeah, we've all been long-ex-
We've all had that nervousness now
Turn to this stress
And we wonder as we wear business dress
Slip in little flames
About miles apart
Styles apart and miles apart
And stones

Lovers uptown, we went uptown
There were lovers uptown, we went uptown

Hey, we can get close
Close on the one hand
Remembered on the other
But how we got too close in that mood
Yeah, I've been to your town
It was always someone else’s
It was  neat and sparse
It was easily understood
There were never clues in there like ours

Lovers all around, we went all around
There were lovers all around, we went all around

Yeah, I'll say it, I'll say it for you
But don’t repeat it, don’t even think it
We’re all going backwards
The world's in division
Cross everyone else
But give me a description
Of what’s joint in this town
Describe an arc of your own
Describe yourself
Yeah, description

Smaller than thought
How wayward intention
Not as wicked as people say
Send me a letter with clues
Send, send flattering dreams
Send love, send stones, send structures

Love is uptown, we went uptown
There were lovers uptown, we went uptown

Altogether now
Say my name and hi! (Hi! Hi...)
Smile and hold your head back
Close your eyes
Close your eyes and take as read
Close your eyes
Close your eyes, then throw your arms around
Whoever you think it is

TLAP: Guinness 0.0

On a recent pub visit, I asked the corkscrew-haired, indie-chick barmaid if she had Guinness 0.0 - she thought for a bit, disappeared from view, then came back with a can in her hand and said it was the last one they had left. Lucky me...

Guinness 0.0

What's it like? I'll be honest, I'm not the most frequent drinker of the black stuff, so maybe I'm not best placed to judge... but as far as I can tell, this looks like regular Guinness, feels like regular Guinness and tastes like regular Guinness. I'm not sure I could easily tell the difference, and what more could anyone ask from an alcohol-free beer? On top of that, it's tasty too. As with regular Guinness, it takes the first inch of the pint for me to get acclimatised, but after that I'm off and running.

Would I drink it in a pub? Yes.

Would I drink more than one? Yes. It's a creamy, tasty pint!

Would I drink it all night? Possibly not, but only because Guinness can be quite heavy, so I might need some variety.

Stats: 0.0% ABV. Calories 85 kcal/500ml. Fat free! Currently £13.25 for a 10x440ml cans in Sainsbury's

Stars: ★★★★★

So, a song. I was going to go with Zero by The Donnas, but the Imagine Dragons song of the same name gets the nod, not least for its unusual video and deceptively heavy lyrics.

Blue Friday: Comfort Me

Another that doesn't sound too blue, musically, but this is Sparklehorse, so you might know better, lyrically. Who doesn't need a little comfort? I know I do.

With rocks in my dress
And smoke in my hair
I walked into a lake
To get some sleep down in there

Won't you come to comfort me?
Won't you come to comfort me?

With minnows in my belly
And deep in my veins
The breath-robbin' lightning
Was making diamonds of rain

Won't you come to comfort me?
Won't you come to comfort me?

I dreamed I was born on a mountain on the moon
Where nothing grows or ever rots
I dreamed that I had me a daughter
Who was magnificent as a horse

Won't you come to comfort me?
Won't you come to comfort me?
Won't you come to comfort me?
Won't you come to comfort me?

TLAP: Erdinger Alkoholfrei

I went to the pub at the weekend, for a friend's birthday drinks. It was cold and icy, and I cycled, so it seemed like a good time to further my exploration of alcohol-free ales. I asked the corkscrew-haired, indie-chick barmaid if she had any 0% options - she thought for a bit, disappeared from view, then came back with a bottle in her hand and said this was probably the nearest thing she had. That was good enough for me...

Erdinger Alkoholfrei

What's it like? Blatantly advertised by its German makers as a post-sport isotonic drink (really!), this is actually a wheat beer that is brewed according to Bavarian Purity Law, apparently. It's clear, straw-yellow, and pours with a big head. It smells quite yeasty, to my nose at least, and is quite refreshing in a way, but mostly it is just very malty (which is not necessarily to my taste) and surprisingly gassy.

Would I drink it in a pub? Well, I did, so...

Would I drink more than one? Probably not. It's alright but a bit too malty for me. Your mileage may vary.

Would I drink it all night? No (see above).

Stats: <0.5% ABV. Calories 125 kcal/500ml. Sugar 18g/500ml. Contains vitamins B9, B12 and polyphenols. Currently £2 for a 500ml bottle in Tesco

Stars: ★★★☆☆

So, a song, In honour of Erdinger's Bavarian roots, this is Mexico by Munich's The Capitols. What popular music needs is more recorder middle eights, right?

New to NA: The Rare Occasions

Another band that Amusements Minor has brought to my attention, as he continues his never-ending journey into Spotify. The Rare Occasions are an LA-based, New England-bred indie rock band known for their explosive garage rock anthems with catchy vocal harmonies. They formed in Boston in 2012 and, since then, have toured nationally, won the John Lennon Songwriting Contest, and released a vast catalog of music online. I know all this to be true, because I've just copied and pasted it from their website.

The song I heard Amusements Minor humming along to is this, Notion. I find it very listenable, even if the vocalist sounds like he comes from up north, rather than LA. I'm also intrigued by the mini-film video. What do you reckon?

I should add that whilst this band is new to me, that video has had 46 million views and counting on YouTube. Where have I been?

Turning over a new leaf

Seems I've written about The Reds, Pinks and Purples quite a lot in the last five or so years. I make no apology for that, because the music is good.

To wit, here's their new single, New Leaf - three and a half minutes of shuffly ear-worm and half-sung, half-mumbled melancholia. "Undersung" is the word I like to imagine exists to describe Glenn Donaldson's style.

See? That was good, wasn't it?

Thank you very much

On the 91st anniversary of his birth, it occurs to me that I've never written about Elvis Presley, in more than 20 years of blogging. So here's some Blue Aeroplanes and Manic Street Preachers, to maintain that proud record.

P.S. Pub quiz trivia time - just realised that Elvis and Bowie shared a birthday.

Music Assembly: Escape

It took me a while to track this down but as ever the inestimable Tunefind came to my rescue. It's Escape, an orchestral piece by the composer Craig Armstrong. It starts with anticipatory strings, almost menacing, the sort of thing you might hear as background music in a Craig-era Bond movie or a Nolan-helmed Batman. But as more and more voices get added, the scope of the piece swells too - it takes on grander proportions. And then the percussion kicks in around the four and a half minute mark. The whole thing ends up leaning heavily into "epic" territory.... which is probably why it got picked up for this old Top Gear review of the BMW M5, where I first heard it. So here it is is context, from Clarkson pressing the M button at 1:05

And here's the piece in its entirety. How does Armstrong not do more soundtrack work?

TLAP: Lucky Saint Hazy IPA

And so begins a new series I shall be calling "Two Light Ales Please", in reference to the placard from the final Smiths gig.

I made my first website, back in the days before blogging, thirty years ago this year. HTML was (and still is) easy to learn, Geocities (kids, ask your parents) provided free hosting, throw in some webrings to generate traffic (kids, ask your parents) and then all you had to contend with was slow uploading via nascent dial-up connections (kids, ask your - oh, you get the idea). One of the first webpages I wrote was a guide to real ales - I set myself a target of drinking 100 different bitters during the course of the year, then gave each a star-rating and a one-line write-up, and posted the whole thing online. In the end I'd hit the 100 before the end of September, such was the frequency with which The Man Of Cheese and I went to the pub in those days.

Thirty years... doesn't seem possible... sigh.

Anyway, times change, and trips to the pub become less frequent (and less bacchanalian). I still like a pint, though. And something I've noticed, as I get older and allegedly more sensible, is that alcohol-free offerings are far more plentiful than they were in my youth. At least they are if you drink lager ... 0% bitters are much rarer. And they're a mixed bag, in my experience, to say the least. So, to mark the 30th anniversary of my original online ale guide, this year I will be sampling alcohol-free ales and reviewing them here. I know, I know, no-one cares ... but then that's never stopped me blogging anything else, has it? Here we go, then: a very short write-up, some basic yes/no questions and, for old time's sake, a star rating.

Lucky Saint Hazy IPA

What's it like? Fruity! Maybe grapefruity, but certainly fruity. Lightish in colour and a little hazy, as the name suggests. Pours nicely but not gassy, thank goodness. Light on the palate, this is a proper IPA that looks and taste like the real thing, albeit a newfangled real thing rather than an old-school real ale sort of real thing. Don't worry, I'll be getting to those.

Would I drink it in a pub? Yes, happily.

Would I drink more than one? Yes. It's nice!

Would I drink it all night? No, that would be too much fruitiness.

Stats: 0.5% ABV. Calories 59 kcal/can. Zero Sugar. Suitable for Vegans. Currently on offer at £5 for 4 x 330ml cans in Waitrose (no, I haven't forgotten my roots, they just have a far wider selection of alcohol-free bitters than any other supermarket in my catchment area)

Stars: ★★★★☆

I'll wrap up each review with a loosely relevant song since, let's be honest, that's what most of you come here for. For Hazy IPA, here's The Bangles covering Simon & Garfunkel's Hazy Shade of Winter, and not just because I've been smitten with Susanna (obligatory sigh) for even more than 30 years...

Randcamp: New Year's Day

Searching Bandcamp for songs called "New Year's Day" throws up a lot of execrable rubbish, not all of which are cover versions of Bono's boys. But here's three that aren't terrible.

Ken Nilsen is a singer songwriter from the US who, from the sounds of this, mostly just wants to play his guitar. This song is two years old today.

Ladyshark are a New York punk 3-piece girl-band. This starts okay and has interesting short-story-esque lyrics...

This is probably my favourite of the three, by the challengingly-named Cancer Kittens. Now eight years old, this is unlikely to lift any low moods.

This might be the start of a new series (Randcamp, maybe?) in which I stick random search terms into Bandcamp and report the best (or worst) findings, who knows? But for now, which (if any) of these three do you like?