Monday 16 April 2018

Since you ask, Frank...

Resisting the temptation to write about Syria, and Trump's playground posturing, because, well ... there's enough coverage of that already.

So instead, I'm going to pretend I'm on Room 101 and the always-excellent Frank Skinner is asking me what I'd condemn. And so, in no particular order and with as little exposition as possible, these are some things I could do without:

  • People applauding themselves on television shows
  • Saying "I'm good" when asked how they are, instead of "I'm well" or "I'm fine" or something else less linguistically shoddy (I do this myself sometimes, and ratchet up my self-loathing every time)
  • Tattoos. Enough with tattoos. It'll be no good asking the NHS for laser removal in twenty years time.
  • Hugs that are not hugs

To continue the Room 101 theme, here's Frank talking to Richard Ayoade, just because.

5 comments:

  1. Speaking of Frank Skinner, I don't know whether you have access to the Sky Arts channel but I laughed my socks off yesterday watching his ep of Urban Myths - Johnny Cash and the Ostrich, with Skinner playing The Man in Black himself. Followed by the Live Aid Urban Myths ep, it was a great double!

    One that always bemuses me is when someone interrupts you and says 'I don't mean to interrupt, but...' I saw it switching over last night and catching a bit of the film The Peacemaker (yeah, great scheduling there Auntie Beeb with what's currently going on in the world) and seeing George Clooney's military top brass saying just that to Nicole Kidman's speaker. Now what does that even mean? If you 'don't mean to interrupt' surely you wouldn't have?

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    1. I don't have access to Sky Arts but have heard good things about the Live Aid Urban Myths episode.

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  2. Excellent (both yours and Richard's). Most of my Room 101 contenders are linguistic too - I have a problem with the shortening of adverbs into adjectives, which seems to be happening more and more. Find myself adding the ending to everyone who does that on the TV. "Ly! It's ....ly!" But I suspect this may be part of the way language evolves and adverbs may soon become redundant.
    So, the adverb thing, and washing up saucepans.
    Intrigued (and feeling a bit self-conscious in case, as I sometimes worry about inappropriate inter-gender groin contact) - when is a hug not a hug?!

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    1. Ah yes, ly...most noticeable with football pundits. "The lad's done brilliant there." No, he hasn't, he's done brilliantly.

      I also have an issue with the use of nouns as verbs - "we'll help you leverage your influence ." Argh!

      When is a hug not a hug? Lots of ways. When it means more than it should. When it means less than it should. When it's given as a pretence, or with artifice. When it's half-hearted. When it hurts rather than comforts. I could go on.

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    2. Addendum - I also have an issue with jeans that are sold with pre-cut holes in the knee. That's the way I am, heaven help me.

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