One of the best things about going to get a takeaway is that, whilst waiting for my duck in black bean sauce to be cooked, I have a few minutes free to catch up on the world of the tabloid press. Yes, I'll pass the time by reading a dog-eared copy of, invariably, The Sun. Now my newspaper of choice these days is usually The Guardian or, occasionally, the FT Weekend, but every now and then it's good to remind yourself just what gets reported in this section of the media, and how.
You'll be relieved to learn that red-blooded males can get an editorial-style comment on the news of the day from Page 3 - the traditional "Sam, 19, from Essex" has been replaced by a little sidebar entitled "News In Briefs" in which a viewpoint is attributed, presumably by a ghost-writing Murdoch hack, to the super-soaraway-stunna. I'm sure the humour does not go over the head of the average Sun reader at all... and even if it does, who cares, they are, in context, genuinely quite funny. Here are some examples from three takeaway trips earlier in the year.
| 19th February: poor Amy is worried about spiralling public debt. |  |
| 20th April: Sam notes Biblical proportions of the Icelandic ash cloud. |  |
| 26th May: Hollie reassures us all about budget cuts. |  |
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