My thoughts often turn to the concept of "settling down" with someone, probably because I seem to find it so hard to do. To me, even the use of the word "settle" seems to imply that this might not be a desirable thing to do..... settle... seems to suggest "put up with" or "make do". I don't want to put up with something or someone, and I certainly don't want to make do with someone just because I haven't yet found anyone better. But then maybe that's what settling really is: the realisation that, although not perfect, the person you're with is as good as can be expected or hoped for.
I think the thing that worries me most though is the thought that if you settle down with that special person and then someone or something better comes along, undoing that settling process is going to be a difficult and generally unpleasant process... so maybe that's another ingredient of the settling process, the ability to close your eyes to the world and be so pleased with what you've got that you stop noticing everything else around you. And don't start telling me that you've met the one person in the world who is right for you, I'm not sure I buy into that. Do you know how many people there are in the world? Are you really trying to tell me that you couldn't be just as happy, or even happier, with someone else?
The upshot of all this rambling is that I don't want to settle for something that's just okay or even good, I want something with someone that is brilliant. I accept that it might not be perfect - what is - but I need to be able to feel that I've done the best I can in life, and that includes all matters of the heart. Maybe this is why so many people in the UK are leaving it longer and longer to get married, or at least one of the reasons... and maybe it's also why even now, when I'm as close to settling as I have ever been, my roving eye is still lighting upon uncharted waters and I'm still wondering, "What's beyond that horizon?"
I think the thing that worries me most though is the thought that if you settle down with that special person and then someone or something better comes along, undoing that settling process is going to be a difficult and generally unpleasant process... so maybe that's another ingredient of the settling process, the ability to close your eyes to the world and be so pleased with what you've got that you stop noticing everything else around you. And don't start telling me that you've met the one person in the world who is right for you, I'm not sure I buy into that. Do you know how many people there are in the world? Are you really trying to tell me that you couldn't be just as happy, or even happier, with someone else?
The upshot of all this rambling is that I don't want to settle for something that's just okay or even good, I want something with someone that is brilliant. I accept that it might not be perfect - what is - but I need to be able to feel that I've done the best I can in life, and that includes all matters of the heart. Maybe this is why so many people in the UK are leaving it longer and longer to get married, or at least one of the reasons... and maybe it's also why even now, when I'm as close to settling as I have ever been, my roving eye is still lighting upon uncharted waters and I'm still wondering, "What's beyond that horizon?"
No comments:
Post a Comment