First off, let me promise to you that this is the last post I'll write about AI in 2025. I've got a longer-term AI-related project on the go, but the outcome of that, if indeed there is any kind of outcome, won't be known until May next year. So, honestly, this is the last post on AI for a good while, which is good because, after all...
With those wise words ringing in our collective ear, cast your mind back to last month when I wrote about Suno, the scary AI music generation platform. And for latecomers, that's not an app for generating scary music, minor keys and Psycho-strings, no, no - Suno is scary because of how quickly and easily it generates anodyne, MOR pap, the sort that fills supermarkets aisles and hold-please phone lines and mid-afternoon commercial radio stations and song contests and more. It's a technological software marvel, no doubt about that, but it's also somewhat worrying, to say the least.
The "success" of my little Sunovision Song Contest last month did make me wonder though. Could Suno create a good song? What if it was fed decent lyrics, rather than merely prompted with a theme to write its own? And what if the music prompt was specifically targeted, with a predetermined end-result in mind?
You can already tell where I'm heading with this, can't you?
A quick copy and paste supplied the lyrics to one of my favourite songs, by one of my favourite bands. I added prompt keywords to Suno for the music - "british accent, male vocal, mod, revival, new wave, beatles-inspired bassline, strong beats, power pop, open chords, electric guitar, bass, drums, weller, foxton, buckler" - and clicked the ironically labelled "Create" button, and this... there's no other word for it, this abomination is what it came up with. Ladies and gentlemen, with profound apologies, I present Thin As Thieves by The Conserve. Give it until the first chorus, at least.
I think we can all agree that is just appallingly, abysmally awful - a festering turd of a pseudo-song. Unadulterated, unmitigated crap, and you are, of course, most welcome to hate me for inflicting it on you. Okay, you might justifiably question my prompting skills, but that's not the real problem here, is it? Either way, I won't do it again.
To redeem myself, here's the untouchable source material, from 1979's almost-a-concept-album Setting Sons - this is a proper song, and a damn good one at that. Think of it as an aural sorbet, after the travesty above. AI is undoubtedly getting more sophisticated at an alarming rate but for now, at least, there's no substitute for fire and skill.
And some final thoughts from a long-time fan of this very blog: