I've been thinking a lot about Jonbar points, specifically how I came to be here, at this point, in this state. I've also been thinking about how, if I could go back in time and tell the 15 year old me what I've done with (or rather, let happen to) my life... well, he wouldn't kick my arse, because the 15 year old me wasn't like that, but I can't help but think he would be disappointed... which, of course, is far worse.
I'm not sure it's such a good idea to dwell on Jonbar points. Don't try it.
I can't NOT comment on this because it's something I've thought about a lot over the last 10 years, usually when something's gone t*ts up. You can only change what you do now, not then, obviously. And it's ok for priorities to change. How much of that disappointment is from you rather than what others/society expect from you? Pin down the good stuff, the important-to-you stuff. And enjoy the company of those you wouldn't have met if you hadn't taken those forks in the road.
ReplyDeleteAgree with everything here (and welcome, Zenalee, first-time commenter I think?) Yes, naturally most of the disappointment is from me, not others, but that makes it worse, in a way, like I've let myself down.
DeleteI am always grateful for a massive Jonbar point, without which I wouldn't have met my best friend. This, most definitely, is the good stuff you mention!
I thoroughly agree with Zenalee's comment above. And if we'd taken those other forks in the road, they might have led us to god knows what tragedies or worse suffering further down the line, we'll just never know.
ReplyDeleteWith all this in mind, the older I get, the more I realise that it's better just not to think much at all...
Ha! Your last line made me laugh, C.
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